Misadventures Of A Twisted Life

2011-10-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

I wanna go out with a girl.

A pretty girl.

2011-07-18T22:50:00.003+08:00

Blog posts are becoming very scarce.

I run out of creative juices quite very easily.

Blink of an eye and my 22 weeks Industrial Attachment was over. Received an A- grade. Not bad, honestly. Considering how I go disheartened about halfway through the internship and started to fuck things up pretty badly even by my standard.

But at the end of the day, I've learnt and proven to myself that it's not the knowledge of the field that you are working in that matter, it's the knowledge of how to smoke.

My internship company took in 2 students, my classmate and me.

He worked his ass off. Overtimes and what not. Even on the last week of internship, he was still pulling OTs. I wouldnt really say he's a pure hardworking fella. Just bad work organizational skills. I've only worked OT twice. Once was when the boss required me to stay and another occasion I stayed back just to show my Senior Project Manager that I do stay back after my official working hours.

But enough of that.

Took a trip to Hong Kong and back. First time overseas with my baby.

Gave me quite a lot to think about. A lot of re-evaluation I suppose.

And everyone's changing their blog address. I'm no longer at the age where i bothers to keep track of all my friends' blog. If they provide a link on their old blog, I'll go take a look once in a while. But if not, well nobody's losing anything right?

Well I've ran out of "creative juices", so let's see when I can get my lazy ass baxk here to type anything.

"Nut Up or Shut Up!" VS "Speak now or forever hold your tongue"

2011-02-25T23:40:00.001+08:00

From the title, what's the real difference? No idea.

It was like taking drugs.

What an apt analogy considering that was just being discussed earlier in the evening.

You yearn and crave for it. And when you finally get it, you get lost in the joy it brings. Time slows down and speeds up at the same time.

And well, honestly, you'll want to slow down and speed up at the same time. A real peculiar feeling. Hard to describe. Peculiar, but it's good.

But when the "high" is over, here comes the crash. It's actually a different kind of crash when compared to a sugar crash.

It felt more like a "crush". Being crushed from inside. So was it a feeling of implosion?

I don't know.

The feeling that the "weed" was the last you'll ever have, and it saddens and depresses you to think that that was the last you'll ever get. Or at least you'll never know when's the next time you're gonna have it.

What a weird analogy.. Peculiar perhaps.. But indeed, it was apt.

Saddening and depressing.

2011-01-29T00:01:00.002+08:00

After the release of my results, it was another round of relief. I sound as though I'm expecting to pass everything. But in a way, I am. It's bad though. Because every semester I would think that at the end of the day, I'm just gonna pass everything. I'll especially think that way when for 5 tutorials in a row, I can't solve any questions.

Doing my internship at a consultancy firm now. The ups and downs. As opposed to a contractor firm, I don't have to be in the work site much. But then as a consultant engineer, I have to use a lot of brains.

Trust me, a simple issue like how to divert a drain from point A to point B can give so many people so much headache. And oh the headache. The intensity of it.

Such a small drain is giving me so much headache, and now my boss wants me to help in designing the temporary canal diversion.

Wanted to take a picture of my work desk. But I was too busy to do so. Shall do it next Thursday. Then people will know how busy I truly am.

Thank goodness my boss is so nice as to let me not work this coming Saturday. And next Saturday too. And next Wednesday too.

Company's annual dinner is next Tuesday though. Hope there aren't too much drinking involved. Hate to make a fool out of myself by getting drunk.

While walking over to the work site, Joel and I passed by a newspaper stand. We saw The New Paper. Guess who did we see on the frontpage. Ris Fucking Low. What the hell?

Our first reaction was: "Goodness, what is she up to again?"

Whoever was in charge of organising beauty pageants in Singapore has been sacked, and a new firm was chosen. Well, finally I guess. Past few years there wasn't a single decent Miss Singapore.

The owner of Miss World pageant even said that it should not be just about women parading around in swim suits and pretty faces.

Oh please. She's an idiot. She herself falls into that category. Not the beauty part of course, definitely the "No Brains" department.

How many of those successful and smart women are going to parade around in front of the whole world in bikini? Paris Hilton isn't successful, her daddy is. Note the difference please.

So what's really left are those half-a-brain gals who think they're smart and ends up behaving like a bimbo.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

*chuckles*

=====

Sometimes when I do not have much to think about, I think about her. It's really sad to say this but even though so many years have passed by, I still think about her and all the what ifs that were involved.

So many years?? Well it was only 5 years.

Seemed like a long time.

The first time I was really thinking about getting into a serious relationship, I got dumped. I know the correct term should be "rejected", but I have my reason for using the word "dumped".

You see, when someone is dumping another someone, it usually goes, "it's not you, it's me". Or so I think that's how that cliche is supposed to work.

The "I'm not good enough for you, and you'll find someone else who is better and more deserving of you" speech.

*A little grin here*

So in one night, I kinda fell in love, was rejected and "dumped".

It gets kinda awkward though, when we see each other. Or maybe I'm the only one feeling awkward.

Wonders if she still reads my blog. If you do, please do give a shout out. A message on my fantastically stagnant tagboard? No need to be embarrassed. I'm passed that stage already.

We're still friends. Actually, "just friends". Because of what happened that night 5 years ago, we kinda drifted apart.

Pretty sad, every time I think about it.

Maybe it'll sound very cliche or emo when I mention it, but seriously, I felt as though I have been scarred for life.

Even though you said it was you, and not me. The whole world knows it's actually me and not you.

My little "How I Met Your Mother" episode in my life. I'm the Ted Moseby and you're my Robin Scherbatsky. Except nothing happened at the end of Season 1. In fact, it ended at the first episode.

I can't help but give another *chuckle*

I know it's not right to say this, but till today, I care about you more than my current girlfriend.

SSSHHHHhhhh it's our little secret ok?

Time to sleep. I've been lacking sleep for the past one week.

Engineering is really tough, especially when using it to solve real world problems.

2010

2011-01-04T17:03:00.001+08:00

I can't really remember much of 2010. Well the things that do remember, most of them I like to keep them to myself. At least for the moment.

However, the most important day of 2010 is 25th Nov, when I received the news that my granfather passed away. It was a mad rush of getting either my new passport or urgent travel docs from the embassy. In the end I got my new passport as both options needed the same amount of time.

My grandfather's death affected me more than I knew. I always thought that my relatives being so far away, and me having so little time to interact with them wouldnt cause me to feel that much pain. I was wrong. I lost too much sleep.

The trip back to Taiwan was spent entirely on the funeral. Even though I brought along my notes to study for my exams which was just a week away. I was just flipping through the notes. Staring at the words and not absorbing anything.

There were so many firsts, and at the same time so many lasts. And sadly, many more in between that will never be realised.

At the end of the day, all I've got now are memories and nothing more. I remember tearing uncontrollably during my first paper. An invigilator came over and asked if I was OK.

"Don't worry, the paper isn't that tough. You've still got time to think through the questions."

Thanks.

Evon was around throughout the whole time. From sending me off, to picking me up at the airport, and much much more. Thanks baby.

Am I through with the grieving process? I'm not sure. Maybe i'm 80% to 90% through. But I'm never sure.

I can only pray that I'm able to pass all my modules. I haven't got the interest, nor the mood to do my revisions properly.

New Years Eve was fun.

checked in to MBS. 41st floor city facing room. SHIOK!
after getting the keys to the room with baby, I wanted to get a bellboy and send our bags up. So i grabbed hold of the first MBS staff I came across.

A duty manager.

he took a look at my keycard and said, "Oh you're the honeymoon couple checking into the honeymoon suite! No worries, I'll get someone to send your bags up right away!"

LOL. just because a guy and a girl checked into a room that's been designated as the "honeymoon suite", you have to assume it's a "honeymoon couple"?

actually we were there with a whole bunch of friends. that made things a lot more fun. especially at night. when the drinking starts. and the drinking started the moment we checked into our rooms.

by the time it was nearing midnight, I was a little groggy and a little too much alcohol in my bloodstream.

complimentary tickets to MBS rooftop party with free flow of champagne.

free flow of champagne. heh. so we downed those champagne as if they were shots.

bad idea. monica suggested it. we took around 5 glasses of champagne each. on average. the first glass was nicely sipped into the stomach. next four was unceremoniously dumped into our bloodstream.

it was an ugly sight to be seen doing "shots" of champagne.

went back down to the room for more red wine, white wine, beer. played stupid games that required drinking as punishments.

it was an even uglier sight later in the wee hours of the morning when i hugged the toilet bowl and threw up.

had a hangover that lasted a good whole day.

4.30am in the morning, i leaned over to Evon and said, "My new year resolution for 2011. Not to drink this much anymore."

I know it sounds disgusting, but i can smell the friggin alcohol from my pee.

pictures soon..

2010-10-04T22:32:00.002+08:00

THIS IS REALLY REALLY A CRY FOR HELP TO ANYONE OUT THERE.

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here.

The past 2 months whizzed by me so quickly. Seems like I've lost my drive, my sense of direction. Especially in life.

Everywhere I look, I see a dismal future for myself.

How did things end up like this? I was so sure of myself and my choices.

But if it was really that bad, why did 200 to 300 other people made the same choice as me?

Or maybe I'm the one who followed blindly and made the same choice as the 200 to 300 people.

And character-wise, I'm a horrible person. I have no idea why I've changed this much.

This is not the kind of person I want to be. I don't want to hurting others with every single word that's blurted out of my mouth.

Week 6 of school. I'm 6 weeks behind in terms of my academics. Hard to believe that earlier this year I was still full of steam and rushing through all my work.

Now I'm just stagnant.

No drive and no sense of purpose in life.

Along with the absolute fear of death.

I'm really a horrible person, detested by all.

Like a message on a bottle floating along the waves. I wonder when will this SOS message be picked up and read. And how long will rescue come.

I hope it's not too late. I'm really unable to help myself anymore.

I don't know who to turn to for help anymore.

I'm sorry.
*sigh*

This is me apologising to myself, the people whom I've hurt, the people whom I've never made the effort to keep in touch with and the world.

I'm sorry.
Truly am.

2010-09-03T22:43:00.004+08:00

Well, school has started. Vacation job came to an end. Pretty satisfied with this year's job. Really.

The pay was better and the stress was so much lesser than before. Just have to go out and see the world more often.

Saved a small sum of money. Gotta find some place to do some investments. Maybe JH can help me.

And speaking of money and investments, there's this feeling of overwhelming sadness in me. "Our" events company didnt take off. I'm not sure if we're gonna so-call liquidate the company or maybe I'll just leave the company (Pretty sad since I was the one who started it). But come to think of it, Steve Jobs was once fired from Apple too, So who know? Maybe some time into the future, I may return to make a huge bang.

I can't see eye to eye with my business partners. At first we were all profit-oriented. But then ZK kept adding additional costs to our clients' projects. So much so that our net profits are being reduced dramatically. There goes our KPI.

Maybe next year I'll do the same thing again. This time round, it is possible that I might wanna try to go solo. What's there to lose or be afraid of? I'm the one with all the contacts to the industry.

We'll see how it goes.

Starting your own business is fun and tiring. Next year's my last year. Gotta see how things go.

The only consolation I have right is that at least my company made a 100% net profit. Which has a chance of going higher if I can manage to get that dumbfuck partner of mine to watch his expense.

So much for me dreaming of doing an IPO within 6 years. When everything first started, it seemed as though an IPO is really viable within 5 years.

Now I'm just back to another ordinary student slogging away.

If I stayed on with the company, I know I can even manage to save enough to buy my own car in 8 years' time. Well, 3 years if I don't intend to pay in full.

But that shall just be another failed dream.

Life is all about failed dreams.

2010-08-13T14:18:00.003+08:00

Got my brand new Samsung Galaxy S yesterday.

excited and a little disappointed. The camera is such a huge let down. No zoom and no flash.

Well, should look at the bright side though. Android is fun.

2 more weeks till school reopens.

I want to play. Haven't had much fun since the holidays started. Why? The usual suspects: Work and Minor.

Once the last project is over, gonna close down the company and that's it. Realised that I can't work with some people and I can't run a company alone.

Maybe I'll do another start-up again some time in the future, when I have a say over who I want as my business partners.

Right now with the final project for my business, I wonder if my company can even make enough to cover up our losses.

That's what I've been busy with over the past few months. A joint business venture with some friends.

Things are not going the way I've planned with everybody busy with their own commitments and not willing to do much for the company.

Even though it was a partnership, it felt like a Pte Ltd the whole time; with me running the whole show worrying my ass off every single thing and the others can only be contactable after the shit is over.

*sigh*

2010-07-02T15:40:00.003+08:00

Well, I'm tired. That's for sure. Been working since the holidays started. Well, the new company is a lot better than the previous one. Twice the stress, thrice the workload, but definitely quadruple the fun.

I've taken upon myself to do some reflections. Why do people say that you don't mean what you say when you're angry? I believe that is untrue. At least not completely. Ive made things a little too uncomfortable with some of my friends and I know it's partially my fault.

Oh well, just gonna see how things go.

Release of exam results was kinda exciting. Expected myself to fail at least one module and get just pass grades for the rest. Turned out wasn't the case. Didn't even score a single D. Mostly B grades. Some A- grades. One or Two C grades.

Surprised myself thoroughly. I guess it really works when you sacrifice things to work on your studies. My GPA was pulled up, not by a lot, by it's finally climbing.

I know I fly kite for a lot of my friends last semester. But the only one I can remember was to have dinner with Tommy and Marilyn and gang. Apologies again. But I'm just glad that I have my results to show that the kite-flying wasn't in vain.

Which reminds me of what Yu Jun told me 2 or 3 years ago before I started University: "NTU is a place where does that couldn't make it have been wiped off the chain. Whoever's left and in university are really the cream of the cohort. Don't be complacent and study hard."

She's right, and congratulations to her on graduating this year. One less 师姐 to consult when in trouble.

Prof. Li Bing also said that with a Year One intake of around 300, only less that 100 will graduate. In fact, by the end of third year and you still haven't been kicked out by NTU, you'll more or less graduate successfully.

Looks like Year Three is gonna be an exciting year ahead for me.

2010-05-11T18:28:00.000+08:00

My goodness, I am so tired.

Haven't slept for 2 days save for a quick 1hr power nap this morning at 6am. This Minor is really killing me.

Spent almost 24hrs try to do up the capital budgeting/financial projection for my company.

Balance Sheet, Profit and Loss Statement, Cash Flow Statement.

Sigh.

It's just so tiring. I do feel a great sense of achievement when I'm finally done with the bloody excel sheet. But the only problem now is that that was just 50% done. I've still got to compute all the financial ratios and put the key figures into the executive summary and the business plan.

Tired.

Tomorrow's the deadline to submit our business plan. after which we need to go set up stuff for our EID presentation o Thursday. Friday's gonna be spent going for interviews during the day and going for presentation rehearsals in the evening. Saturday's gonna be the actual business presentation.

what a mad rush.

Gonna go meet WT this thursday though. Something for me to look forward to at least.
hope we'll have fun.

2010-05-04T10:03:00.001+08:00

I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL!!!

2010-04-14T22:58:00.003+08:00

exams exams exams. that's what we're all worried about.

just had a very wild thought. but it's too wild to be mentioned here.

seems like i'm losing contact with a lot of my friends, and i wonder why. actually i know why, and the problem is with me. and the problem is getting worse. i wonder how i end up the way i am right now.

8 more days to exams.

21 more days to freedom.

what kinda freedom actually?

had to worry about the bloody EID project along with my MiE's EN105.
both really deserves some worrying.

for the EID, we're not designing or even building an actual prototype. and we all know that every other group is trying to build a prototype.
every other group has met their mentor. ours? not yet.
every other group had a lot of group meetings. ours? we met once at the beginning of the semester.

perhaps it's because this is a 1AU module, therefore we do not put much importance to it. think we're gonna suffer because of it. hopefully, our financial projections for our projections will wow the judges. but seriously.. EID stands for Engineering Innovation and Design. what does financial projections have to do with it? WE DONT HAVE A PROTOTYPE!!! honestly, we picked a very difficult product to do. how are we gonna fit a bloody bluetooth microchip into something as small as a lock? and we dont even have the technical know-hows, i.e. we're civil engineers, not electronic engineers. therefore, me assessment of our team is this: we're gearing up for a major epic phailure session.

as for the 105 project, all i can say is that i'm disappointed with how things turned out. it is true that i learnt something: people value your character more than your efficiency and/or ability to get things done. id you dont socialise, you're in trouble. so for those people who want to take up a minor in entrepreneurship, please think twice. nobody cares if you can stay for 4 nights in a row to complete a financial projection, feasibility report, financial report, executive summary.

but that's enough.

oh and i have to get a job too. my current 105 groupmate expect me to be pennyless: "Can u postpone getting a job till we're done and satisfied with our business plan presentation?"

how do you expect me to contribute $$ to our business if i dont have the available start-up capital on my part? are you going to cut my shares? so difficult to explain to people who's got no $$ worries. dont tell me about not having $$ to buy a $20 bag/shirt/shorts/whatever.

i dont have $$ to even feed myself. literally.

which kinda brings me to another thought: please dont invite me to functions that will be held at places where they charge $10 for a fucking plate of what's essentially chicken meat between 2 pieces of bread and $7 for a bloody soft drink.

i dont have that kind of $$. i'm trying to start a business and i dont even have enough $$ to pump into that business.

invite me again 6months down the road when my business is supposed to be up and running, and HOPEFULLY, breakeven by then. 6mths to break even. i'm gonna be so eff-ing poor. well, that's the projection. things always go wrong.
for all i know, the business might just phail epicly and my parents are gonna find out how much money i've invested(or other words lost) to that useless piece of shit business.

realised with the start of this semester, havent been able to talk to WT much. it's just an occasional greeting when we passed by each other in school. i'm really feeling very sad. i suppose maybe it's just not meant to be.

oh speaking of which, havent spoken to P in ages. and i'm guessing it's around almost a year. maybe more than a year. after we had a really good thrashing out. well, it's not my fault that yo do not conform to the norm of the society and you're angry with me for pointing out the obvious?? you're the one that's ashamed of what you got yourself into. if not, why are you angry with me and giving me the cold shoulder? you should know me better. but looks like you dont. you thought i was finding trouble with you. you thought i didnt know you well enough. you SHOULD know that i meant nothing more when i asked those questions. if you previously thought we are such good friends, you MUST know that i' not one who minces my words. to a good/close friend, i say what's in my mind and i expect nothing less from you too.
you cant take the questions i asked and said i dont understand you. you're right. i DONT understand what you're trying to do. that is EXACTLY why i asked you those questions. previously when i asked other questions, you had no problems. you only thought something was wrong with me when i asked those questions pertaining to THAT particular issue. you're not being sensitive, you're being IMMATURE, because you know that is not expected of you, not from me, not from your friends, and DEFINITELY not from your PARENTS!
so you're putting all the blame and hatred on me JUST BECAUSE i am the only one out of your ENTIRE group of friends to have the BALLS to ask you those questions. FYI, one of your former classmate is now one of my classmate in NTU. S/he wonders the same thing too. and S/he also told me, ALL of your friends are wondering the same thing, they are just too embarrassed to ask you.
i choose to talk about this one year later because i hope in this period of one year, you're grown wiser and more MATURE. if not, it only means that you're still the same and before all of these happened, you were lying to everyone, including yourself.

i have no issues at all with your way of life. i respect that. but to respect that, i have to know you're being serious with it. all your friends who knows about your way of life also wants to know. if you cant tell us, it means you're ASHAMED and just lying to us and yourself. and dont give me crap such as "I dont have to prove or explain myself to anyone of you."

because if you dont, well, read the paragraph above again.

REMEMBER: ALL of your FRIENDS thought the same things about you after your ex-classmate told me. i'm the ONLY ONE with the BALLS to ask you. so now that you know, are you gonna ostracize the rest of your friends too? think about it.

i'm always here if you want to talk. forgive and forget is my forte. i wouldnt even think about the things you said to try to hurt me.

2010-02-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

the sadness of omnipotence..

2010-02-10T23:49:00.001+08:00

one day out of possibly a whole year. I'm free. I have nothing on my agenda. Well, i have a lot, but i choose to drop everything.

I'm too burnt out with everything. Gotta take a break or something.

The MiE class schedule is out. It's really depressing to to look at it.

I feel like a stranger, to myself. It's not loneliness, it's the alone-ness. As if i don't know myself anymore.

Alone-ness.. Not loneliness..

2010-02-01T22:50:00.003+08:00

Time for an update.

2009 passed by too quickly for me to make any evaluation and the rush of 2010 pretty much got me too busy to think about what i want to achieve.

last december was spent pursuing my MiE (Minor in Entrepreneurship). seriously, people taking a Minor in Business can kiss my ass. I've got only 1 week to learn how to churn out a full annual report for a company.

i'd say it was a fun experience. why am i using the past tense? it's not over yet. 2 more modules to go. EN104: a dry run of running a virtual business. EN105: you do it for real. although i'm more worried about EN104 than EN105 as i've already got a business plan and partners to work with.

speaking of which. the MiE took me out of my comfort zone. the 3D2N OBS was nothing. went through worse stuff than that during NS. it's the working together with all the students from other different schools and backgrounds that's really tough. eg. i'm a no-nonsense kind of fella and EN103 had me working with people who just love to procrastinate and work alone. such vast differences made me look as though i'm the odd one out. and for EN101 and EN102, i had to work with a 19yo indian girl whose only "job" experience was as in intern at HP. and she was just an admin assistant. and she arguing how it is easier to outsource everything to india because it's cheaper, faster and better. had to give her a crash course in international trade.

sigh

well, i've lost my virginity too. was at least waiting for that to happen in 2012. but it happened too early in 2009. last december was when i had to stay in school overnight for 5 days straight to rush out financial reports. (without sleep, i must add). thought i could have waited till my FYP before having to resort to such tortures. well, i guess you lose your virginity right when you least expect it.

lol-ness

because of our MiE project, i got to speak Mr Aston Soon, founder of Astons. really nice guy.

2009 also made me realise how close i was to dropping out of school. having flunked a core module and having to repeat it. good thing my schoolmates were really supportive. but i guess it's because of such fear that it spurred me to work harder. no more horsing around.

hopefully i dont flunk anymore modules as all the modules from 2nd year onwards are only offered once a year. cant afford to fail. must get at least a 2nd class honours.

christmas was spent at evon's mum's friend's place. quite a long link. starting to fall in love with traditional christmas feasts. new year eve and new year was spent at monica's place, evon's godsister. during the 2min space of watching the fireworks, i did a quick run-through of my situation and decided that sometimes it's just better to take a step back and shut one eye about mistakes made by others. so what if i managed to prove other people wrong and myself right?

we had our quarrels over the entire span of 2009. and things went to a meltdown stage on christmas day. nothing wrong actually. but i'm at fault for remembering too much details and this kinda added on stress to everyone. i was shocked when she finally yelled at me. nobody's perfect and i was asking for it.

so one of my resolutions for 2010 is:
stop being so serious in life and stop remembering all the nitty gritty details that's not going to do anyone any good.

but i've already failed the first half of that resolution. and it's caused by me 2nd resolution: to never lag behind in tutorials.

so much so that i've started reading ahead of the lectures and ended up being 2 weeks ahead of the lecture schedule. attempting the tutorials without fully understanding the concepts involved. that is very bad. i ended up doing everything wrongly.

now because of such self-applied pressure and rush(and also the fact that i didnt have a proper break during december because of the MiE), i'm burnt out. the last 4 days was spent stoning away and not getting anything done. now i'm behind schedule.

i've got to learn to pace myself. and this is very important since i'm very bogged down this semester. i've got at least 2 or 3 projects for HW210 Tech Comm, 1 major project lasting from now till mid-may for CV2902 EID and not to mention 2 more projects for my MiE course: EN104 is gonna last over the entire 1 week break in march while EN105 will last from march to september. and as part of my course requirements for the MiE, i have to attend business seminars all of this year.

honestly, i think i'm gonna break down very very very soon.

i feel so burnt out.

i should have known what i was getting myself into when i signed up to do the Minor.

maybe i'll just take this week as it comes. let myself recharge over the week, and start the rush again this weekend. all the project meetings and reports and stuff. not to mention tutorials and lectures that i was already behind schedule with.

goodness.

perhaps the real culture of NTU is to just go jump.

you've got a problem, go to the window ledge. solves everything. lol.

i just hope people can stop adding stress and pressure to my already oh-so-hectic and frantic and cluttered life.

2009-11-19T13:50:00.002+08:00

Life is getting more and more interesting by the minute.

And I wonder what makes me say that. Acutally I'm just kinda running out of time in terms of studying. 4 more days to my first paper. 12 more days till exams are over.

I dont even dare to contemplate it as a holiday.

Think i'll most probably get a day or two in between for my break before i start my MiE course.

Was just revising for physics. I'm completely lost after going into the chapter on Thermodynamics.

Abso-fucking-lutely fuck-tastic.

=====

yeah i'm very pissed.

=====

hopefully this time round the exams will be more smooth-sailing than before.

And as for all the pre-exam tension (and maybe post-exam tensions too), I promise I'll study harder next semester.

lol

2009-11-09T23:19:00.003+08:00

I have around another hour to go since I'm converting some videos to mp4 format for my PSP and, hopefully, my N81.

Since I've haven't blogged in quite a while, I'm actually at a lost as to where to start.

Currently I'm very stressed with my school work. Less than 2 weeks to exams and I still can't focus. My mind wanders off easily. Very easily. And I'm very stressed with Soil Mechanics. The tutorial questions used terms and equations that I do not see in the lecture notes. I know lecture notes are a condensation of whatever's in the textbook, but for the entire tutorial to use terms and equations that are not seen at all in the lecture notes, that is too much. why don't the school see that not all students have the financial capability to purchase even a second-hand textbook?

One secondhand textbook costs around $30. Let's keep it conservative. 5 modules means $150.

sigh. nevermind.

I've successfully got the slot to study Minor in Entrepreneurship. Thought it's gonna be something easy like Mon~Fri 9am~5pm. Apparently not so. It's actually everyday, as long as it's not Sundays and/or Public Holidays. And that is just the official lesson timetable. Not inclusive of time needed on projects.

Lots and lots of projects and reports to write up. The business plan i submitted to the panel of interviewers was accepted. Now i have to learn to convert it to an executive summary. to submit by 29Dec 12pm, which will be express mailed to some big shot. and on 30Dec, I have to do a presentation on my business plan.

If i'm lucky, one of those big shots might just be impressed enough to actually invest in my plan. and it might actually become my own business. but that's still too far off. submitting the same plan to ideas.inc and hopefully it can be accepted too. If it's god enough, SPRING Singapore will provide a good start-up capital.

and as usual, that is still too early to say. for the SPRING Singapore project, working with 2 other uni friends. that executive summary has to be submitted by 27Nov. smack in the middle of my exams.

i'm using one plan for two different projects. hopefully one of them will hit the jackpot and get accepted.

which reminds me, we'll be going for a crash course in accounting, finance, marketing and so on and so forth in three weeks. tough eh? there goes my december break. it's gonna be used to balance my business plan's P and L.

---

well havent chatted with T for quite a while since school reopened after recess week. we didnt have the chance to work together during out lab sessions as we were all pre-grouped by the lab tech.

and it's quite funny. we walk past each other pretending that we dont know each other or something like that. and yet at the same time we're sms-ing, facebook-ing, email-ing, etc etc each other.

heh heh. feels like secondary school kids. but dont think will be seeing her much next semester onwards. let's leave it fate.

oh. today we did manage to work together again for our last lab session. which actually resulted in and embarrassing incident for me.

T walked into the lab late. as usual. she came in and sat next to me. but as she was walking towards me, i turned my head to talk to her. she isnt very tall. while i was sitted and she's standing, her chest is around my eye-level. and i noticed her boobs seem to be quite huge. and she's wearing a bright RED bar underneath her white t-shirt.

i guess the male hormones took over and i just cant stop staring at her boobs. i was wondering when did she grew so huge? and at the same time, i was telling myself, "look at her face! not her boobs!"

haha

thought nobody noticed. but after the lab session, TM asked why i was staring so hard at T's chest this morning.

roflmfao.

---

around the same topic. while on the way home on the train this evening with TM and A, we noticed this uncle sitting next to me. watching something on his phone. he was watching handphone porn.

cool eh?

old people also know how to catch up in terms of technology.

---

was playing BlackShot last night. this particular kid from primary school, dont ask me i just know he's that young, has a laggy connection so i told him to change host.

Me: "Oi change host la. lag like crazy. and please expedite."
Kid: "lol wad iz expedite?"
Me: "It means hurry the fuck up you illiterate fucktard!"
Kid: "fuck u la! u tink u pro izzit?"
Kid: "/ w boiboi eh wad iz de meaning of illiterate?"

he's trying to whisper a message to his friend to ask for the meaning of illiterate. but he epic failed and sent it as a general message.

Kid: "fuck u! u then illiterate! no such word called expedite. u iz stupidZZZZ!!"

my goodness. if only they went for my human resource management lectures. because according to my lecturer, the government uses the PSLE score as a benchmark to see how far you'll go in the future. not O levels, A levels. but PSLE.

sigh

that was fun anyway. because he got booted off the game for "Bad game manners"

lol.

---

alright. enough enough. i'm gonna go see if T's still online and maybe chat a little bit with her before going to bed.

2009-10-06T22:41:00.003+08:00

eh seriously, saw something real funny.

apparently my life is being mirrored. and i'm sure it is being mirrored quite literally.

kinda made me think that perhaps that person is just making up stories to entertain us along the way.

really really hilarious. perhaps all my friends can go take a look. Gwen agreed with me. although she added as an after-thought, "But you're still being an evil asshole."

is there such thing as a nice asshole?

today after lunch break, had nothing much to do. so us four guys decided to walk over to NIE to have a look at the pretty soon-to-be teachers.

and we wondered, "They're all almost pretty. How did that percentage drop after they graduate?"

submitted my lab report yesterday. today TM made me realised that I've answered two out of the 4 questions wrongly.
ahh.. fuck my life.. but it's only 1AU, so i shan't complain.

it was a short fling i guess. haven't talked to WT since she went back to Malaysia last week. school re-opened and she's back. nothing much exchanged except the occasional "Hi" when we pass by each other. what a funny situation we've got ourselves into. or perhaps just me. we're pretending that we don't know we're nearby even though we're just standing almost next to each other.

another one of those life's funny things to go share with gwen..

still being ignored by the girlfriend. canceled our date so she can go out with her friends. always like that. but never cancel dates with her friends to go out with me..

this is what we call a "second-class citizen".

P finally went for her honeymoon. Taiwan -> Japan -> Korea -> Hong Kong before returning back to sunny Singapore.

goodness.. I need a holiday too.. a REAL holiday..

2009-09-20T22:14:00.002+08:00

just watched some videos on our very own Ms Singapore, Ris Low, on youtube.

funny as hell.

and i think i know some of my friends who will actually act the same way as her.

pwnt.

like how they hope their "bigini" will go "boomz"!

and how they go on and on about some superstar and call that fella a childhood hero when nothing was known at all.

"show the world that not all beautiful people are bimbotic."

too late. you just went "boomz" with her.

haha.

2009-09-13T12:30:00.002+08:00

feeling a little better after having a chat with edison.

seems like the conclusion he gave me was to just open up a confrontation.

i don't know. i need more advice. but at the moment i'm really feeling better already.

wonder how long that can last..

2009-09-13T09:41:00.002+08:00

went to meet up with the girlfriend yesterday.

thought everything was going fine till her phone went off at 12am. a quick peek and i saw the caller id display as a "jason-something".

this is the guy i heard from her and her friends that's always studying with her and always calling and msn-ing her.

yeah i'm jealous. susrprisingly, it's not the guy i wanna kill. it's the girlfriend i wanna kill.

if you want to reject a call, pick up the phone and reject it.

don't pick up the phone, freak out upon seeing the name, half-shouting half-muttering "oh shit!", look at me nervously a few times, drop the phone and pick it up to finally press the reject button.

i love my peripheral vision. i can see everything that's happening. "love" the guilty look on her face and how she fumbles along.

oh, and did i mention, the fella called again and again? till i was so pissed that i just stood up and went home.

what kind of guy will call a girl at 12am in the morning? again and again even after being rejected? and why would a girl freak out and panic upon seeing the guy's name that she had to fumble and drop her phone to reject the call?

whenever any of the girlfriend's friends call her, regardless of what she was doing, she'll always pick up the call. even if she's very busy, just to tell them she's busy.

last night was the first time i saw her freaking out over a phone call.

see?

i'm going to kill her.

period.

2009-09-08T22:46:00.000+08:00

Heh heh.. Jia Hao trying to introduce girls to me..

Today the one he introduced not bad. Very sweet looking. Too bad I've already forgotten her name.

Oh well, gotta wait till next Tuesday's lecture to talk to her again..

:-)

2009-09-08T12:57:00.002+08:00

Woohoo!! Yesterday managed to ask wei ting for her number.. :-)

Later chatted for a little while last night.. :-)

Haven't had a proper phone conversation in a very long while.. Glad that there is still some normalcy in my life..

2009-09-04T12:11:00.001+08:00

i'm supposed to be angry with my girlfriend. Her attitude and such.

But i'm just too tired to be angry.

I can't believe how exhausted I am.

Yesterday, Sophia asked me to join her go star-gazing at the rooftop of the School of Arts, Design and Media.

I should have went.

Sigh...

2009-08-24T14:44:00.001+08:00

P is officially engaged. Invited me to her engagement party. I never knew that you're supposed to throw an engagement party.

It was held at the couple's new place. She probably saw my last post and decided to get even with me. She didnt tell me it was an official party. I showed up in t,shirt and bermuda. While everyone was in shirts and long pants.

1-1. It's a draw at the moment. But looks like our little game will be stopping here.

I asked P when's the wedding dinner and she replied with, "What makes you think I'll invite you?"

Oh well, fair enough I guess.

Today started with a little problem.

Engine was stuck in third gear.

Panicked and almost had a heart-attack.

I need a better way to start the day.

Yo Monkey Boy! Leave me alone!

2009-08-21T16:39:00.001+08:00

Psychology 101

I'm so good at that. I think i don't need to take any electives on psychology or mental health. In a way, I'm almost pure evil.

Had a piss-poor conversation with P. Actually, I was just kind of trying to piss P off.

As previously mentioned, I believe that we have some issues between us. I played hard on those issues and poked at where I knew it'll hurt the most. I just wasn't in the mood for a talk. I have my own problems to worry about and we all know that talking to each other will not solve my problems, let alone ours.

Our on-again/off-again relationship has lasted for the past 9 years. Come to think of it, I'm very glad our relationship didn't go any further beyond some kind of infatuation.

Our character is just too different. Opposites may attract, but when you reach a certain degree of opposition, it actually becomes a form of repulsion.

Simple-minded, shallow or thick-skulled?

We shall let the world decide.

I was merely playing on certain sensitive issues that will surely tick P off. And it worked.

P thought I was being annoying and insensitive. But I know what I'm doing. I'm just placing a temporary distance between us for the time being.

Sadly, it's P's wrong perception of me being insensitive re-affirmed how different we are.

So I guess that's why P ended wherever s/he is and I ended up in a university.

It's not fair that I'm playing on such elitist mentality since P is also currently engaged with another elitist. But on a personal level, it means that we're no longer on a level playing field. No matter how badly I fair with my degree, I'll always be "one-up" P.

That is pure elitist, but it's just how the world is.

I'm not simple-minded. P played perfectly into my game of chess and I know for a certain period of time, I'll get some peace from P.

I guess I have much to be thankful for.

And on a very evil note, I like to distance myself from freaks of nature. I'm agnostic, therefore I believe that at least I'm doing what I was intended for.

When I have only one source of information, I do not have much of a choice but to make all assumptions based solely on that single source of information. I cannot be held responsible when that single source of information portrayed such a negative image of any person(s).

Felt like a lawyer there.

More on that some other time. But I guess i'm just kind of on the off-again part of relationship with P at the moment.

We'll see how things go. So far, I'm winning 1-0.

-----

Believe it or not, I finally got myself involved in an ECA in university.

Ice Skating.

Wanted to join inline skating, but fortunately their focus is on hockey. Can't join cycling because there is no way for me to bring my bike to school. Air rifle's training schedule clashes with my timetable. Same goes for mountaineering.

The lecturer for Engineering Probability and Statistics is driving me nuts. She takes a good 20min setting up her projector. Therefore, she skips a lot of slides. I was so angry that I just went to sleep half-way through her lecture.

When i woke up to go for my Fluids Mechanices tutorial, I wasn't wide awake.

Sitting in the tutorial room, Sophia called to ask where is the tutorial room. I answered the phone with a loud "Hello". The professor then stopped his lesson till I hung up the phone. Pure embarrassment.

And the funny thing was that I was afraid of embarrassing myself in front of this other girl in the same tutorial class as me. Kayda. Somehow some people should know that I shouldn't be bothered by this kind of problem. She just have this really unique name and I have to really admit she has a very good figure and looks.

We've been in the same lecture group for 3 semesters and same tutorial class for 2 semesters and I still haven't worked up the courage to strike a proper conversation with her.

I have to work harder.

Better not let the chance of getting to know such a fantastic girl slip through my fingers. I guess I'm gonna try to get to know her more before the end of this semester?

Feel like a damned secondary kid now.

lol.

Roflmfao.

2009-08-13T23:03:00.000+08:00

ok. last sunday. national day.

girlfriend came over to bishan park in the morning for rollerblading session. after that was a long walk back to my place. should have taken the bus or some sort of public transport. i made a reservation at 12.45 and by the time both of us were done showering and changing, it was already 12.30pm. and my parents were waiting for us.

heh heh. my father really floored the pedal on the drive to the restaurant. we ate till we were so bloated. and the girlfriend kept insisting it's my fault.

so after lunch, my parents went off to do their own stuff and we went to her place to drop off her stuff. when we reached her house, the first thing her mum did was gave us each a plate of beehoon. goodness. major bloated-ness.

couldnt catch any movie. so kinda stoned the national day away. this year we didnt watch the fireworks. not sure if she wanted to. but i'm not interested. the crowds turns me off.

and then a few days ago, i was bugged by P again. seems like a long time since P tried to talk to me. but i guess we still have some issues between us, so we didnt talk much. actually, i think i'm the one with the issues, but then again, who cares?

today's lunch was horrible. the soup was ok, the garlic bread was passable. but when the sandwich came, my goodness, that just killed everything!! a $20 lunch cant even compare to a Big Mam Meal.

i should have just went to Mac instead.

well, i have so much things in my head right now, i think my head's gonna blow any time soon...

2009-08-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

i think there's something about me that makes me kinda easily-forgotten.

and the worst part, i can easily think of a few reasons why i would forget someone like myself.

let's see:
-i am boring
-i'm a little anti-social
-i'm fun to go out with
-i make people's day better

wait, lost track.

never mind.

watched "the hangover"

it's really hilarious. dont mind watching again. good move to watch to de-stress.
"You are literally too stupid to be insulted!"
"Thank you."

LOL

brought the girlfriend out yesterday to east coast to rollerblade.
to TEACH her to rollerblade.

gonna do that again this sunday.

my holidays are coming to an end and i have not achieved any of the goals i set to achieve during this holiday. so i guess my life is just a series of disappointments after disappointments??

and so currently, the forgotten-and-friendless me is stucked at home for the past month and hooked on computer games. lol.

waste my time away watching TV(nothing to watch), reading comics(Cal & Hob, Zits, etc etc), stoning, playing computer games

microsoft flight simulator.. sometimes, when i crash the plane, the game ends with the program saying, "Next time lower your landing gear before landing."

goodness, cant you let me know BEFORE i land??

combat arms. really just playing the brand new quarantine mode. "Operation Overdose". sucks to play though. the damned zombies are so difficult to kill. almost impossible, and they just claw you once and you're infected.

last night was chatting with the girlfriend about this particular girl i got kinda close too during my BMT days. SJ,T. according to my girlfriend, apparently SJT might just have a crush on me.

lol.

roflmfao....

please jio me out before i lose part of all of my sanity.

somebody?? anybody??

dont forget my existence yeah?

2009-07-29T22:53:00.000+08:00

I've been complaining how I'm completely unable to come out with some proper postings. Dont think I'm asking too much of myself. But I just cant think of anything.

This sucks.

Good thing I dont write for a living. I would have most probably caused my own death. and the worst thing is this: i get all my inspirations for blogging when i'm in my bed getting ready to drift to sleep. just too damn lazy to get up and get some things done.

RT is quite fun actually. imagine the huge sigh of relief i exhaled when i found out that i do not actually have to stay for the full 4 hour. besides, university life is hectic enough and i'm too lazy to go exercise besides my weekly cycling trip. so i'm thinking that RT is actually more beneficial to me than the rest of the hobos there.

TM actually wanted to go sign up for IPT this december. very tempting, but IPT has no pay. i need $$ badly. so yeah.

on the topic of money, i worked for the 2 months before deciding that u dont want to put up with my boss anymore. i know i shouldnt bad-mouth him since he always paid my salary on time.

but i just cant take his nonsense anymore. and also his other darling temp staff. allowed her to push me around. so enough is enough and i quit.

and my father has a pretty good sense of humour. when he came home that day, he asked me to go open a bottle of wine to celebrate.
ME: celebrate what?
DAD: celebrate you firing your boss.

heh

i like the sound of that. so now i go around telling around i fired my boss because he wasnt up to my standards.

found out from TM that to do Masters in NTU, need 2nd class upper at least. hope that isnt true, otherwise i'm pretty screwed. i cant even get third class. lol-ness.

why i chose engineering, i'll never know...

2009-07-20T00:08:00.003+08:00

we were supposed to celebrate something happy together. but things didnt turn out the way i wanted it to be. or at least wished/hoped it would be.

i once heard of the saying: "Attitude problem is directly proportional to personal perception."

i wonder if Big V is really that stupid. i dont feel like a sleuth. but i was able to see what Big V was up to. nothing illegal has been committed but yet Big V has chosen to give me lies after lies.

so many times in a row. this partnership is starting to fray at the ends, i suspect.

i want to confront Big V but somehow, it just doesnt feel right.

sigh...

how do one even begin to describe this sense of hopeless-ness and helpless-ness?

=====

before, i used to get jealous when i see couples..

now i still get jealous when i see couples..

damn i just want to kill them all..

2009-07-07T22:58:00.002+08:00

Went over to Monica's place last saturday morning to help re-paint, re-decorate and re-organise her room.

took one whole day.

the girlfriend and monica were having fun plastering the wall and i was busy repainting everything. monica's mum was helping out once in a while, her brother just slacked in a corner. in the end he lost interest went to watch cartoons.

was pissed that the girlfriend didnt tell in advance that we're most probably having dinner with her family. thought we were going to have the night to ourselves.

and then she didnt leave at 5pm. stayed on till like 7 plus.

in the end, i was very pissed because i had no arrangements for my own dinner and she's feeling guilty about leaving me alone.

tiring day.

dead tired.

shoulder still aching.

next semester's timetable can be described using only one word.

"FUCKED"

my life sucks, but i dont give a fuck...

2009-07-02T15:38:00.003+08:00

Quit my job on Monday. Finally. Rid of at least 50% of my stress.

last one month of school vacation. Gonna try to relax and enjoy it.

Monday during the job-quitting sessions, the boss became super unprofessional and started putting all blames on me ans such.

"You never get anything done."

"You have bad time management."

"You always misunderstand my instructions."

"You don't know what I'm thinking all the time. You must know what I'm thinking."

Jeez. Are you looking for personal assistant or administrative assistant.

lol-ness.

but at the end of the day, I felt I had the last laugh. because the other temp staff also supposedly leaving on the same day. the only staff left behind only started working 2 weeks ago.

good luck to him.

karma. what comes around goes around. I warned him so many times not to make my life difficult. I don't care if his business sucked.

and still having some other problems lately too. was thinking that maybe it's because i'm thinking too much. but now i feel otherwise. refer to my other source for more information.

oh well, nothing much to talk about.

to my ex-boss: GOOD RIDDANCE!

2009-06-22T21:55:00.001+08:00

this vacation is really getting suckier and suckier..

cant wait for school to start..

2009-06-11T21:32:00.001+08:00

You know? Every day, my life starts to go downhill the moment I open my eyes.

and the BEST part?

Nobody gives a fuck.

i was born with a dick in my head. yeah. i was born with a fucked up head.

2009-06-03T21:53:00.003+08:00

holidays are supposed to be fun. but i'm not having fun. on the contrary, i'm feeling down, depressed and easily irritated most of the time.

perhaps i shouldnt have worked. but without work, where am i going to get the $$ needed?

therefore i conclude that life sucks.

i'm starting to resent my mobile phone. nothing really special about it. i got it in the first place due to it's 8GB storage. and even though i have 4GB plus worth of songs in my phone, most of the time i'm just skipping tracks.

i need to get a new battery for my psp. and probably a new memory card too. 4GB is too little. i need at least 8GB i think. Since now i know UMD's storage capacity is at 1.8GB.

i wont be able to change my phone for at least another 2 years. *sigh* and i need to spend $50 fixing the damage dont to my phone due to last year's accident. getting knocked down by a cab in a hit-and-run.

my life sucks, but i don't give a fuck.

2009-05-28T22:05:00.001+08:00

i smell a rat. i think someone's gonna assassinate me. my assassination's probably gonna be next week or the week after.

goodness..

i'm gonna go get bullet-proof vests.

will it be a long-distance kill with a sniper rifle?

or up-close-and-personal kind like stabbing?

me being from ntu. i think i'll be stabbed.

oh boy.

2009-05-25T20:43:00.002+08:00

shit. i hate being pushed.

it's bad enough work sucks.

it sucks even more when life outside of work means i still get pushed around with deadlines.

2009-05-24T22:08:00.003+08:00

i find it quite difficult to type out some decent posts these couple of months. maybe 2009 isnt a good year for blogging just looking at the post counts for any month this year and they are all single digits.

i guess i'm quite filled with anger and a lot of stuff.

maybe i should write on that.

so where shall we start?

my work?

i have nothing against my work, except the colleague of mine. quite an irritating bitch i tell you.

and yet all of a sudden i've decided not to talk about her. since she's gonna be leaving by the end of this month. i'll just put up with her nonsense for another week.

got my exam results back. expected the kind of grades i got. as mentioned in one of the previous posts: i did study hard, but it's just bad luck that the modules i had for 2nd semester is a lot tougher.

failed physics. expected. got an F. was actually hoping that even though i failed, i wouldnt fail so badly (getting an F) so dont have to re-do that module again.

this sucks.

i'm gonna be doing that module again next semester.

hmm..

i seem easily irritated these few weeks.

maybe it's the results.

i just dont feel like doing anything anymore.

no i dont want to go out.

but then again...

=====

the girl read on newspapers that some people who are depressed likes to cut themselves. she hasnt got the courage to try. as usual, the fear of pain.

she constantly wondered why is everyone so condescending towards her?

she knows she has a bad enough temper, but that doesnt warrant the kind of response on her. and unfortunately,she's not getting any response from her friends.

they shun her.

somehow it just added on to her depression.

everything adds up to her depression...

and as mentioned in previous post, she has actually died already.

she's dead.

jumped off a building.

why didnt her friends do anything beforehand to stop such tragedy from happening?
maybe they arent her friends, just pretending to be her friends.

we didnt do much to help her.
"i didnt to much to help too."

and the sad thing is that people only noticed her death after the stench from her rotting body got worse.

we are no better than animals.

her friends let her die even though everyone knew that she was mentally unstable.

animals.

=====

2009-05-18T21:52:00.001+08:00

well, was watching some disney movie on tv just now. saw this scene where everyone was dancing in a ball.

reminds me how a few weeks ago the girlfriend wanted to teach me ballroom dancing. but the clumsy me. lol. two left feet? or is two right feet?

i kept stepping on her. either that or i kept tripping over myself. have to admire her patience. i gave up 10min later.

goodness.

i shouldnt dance.

2009-05-06T20:31:00.000+08:00

fanny showed me one of her friend's blog today. the way she described it. sounds so explicit and sexual. turns out it's nothing much. perhaps it's because i'm older and have seen such nonsense before.

but oh well.

but i have to admit i like her friend's style of writing. pretty cool and interesting.

work sucks today.

2009-04-26T13:41:00.002+08:00

the comforting news is that i fell sick AFTER my exams are over. how pathetic?

i was sick almost the entire duration of the exam period and three days before the exams end, i recovered. but on the last day of exams, i fell sick again.

i got one day of break.

lol-ness

==========

She was yelling at the top of her lungs to the whole world to just shut the fuck up and leave her the fuck alone.

only problem is......

the whole world already left her alone. and to be more precise, they cant really be bothered with her. and in a certain way, she knows that nobody really cares about her.

the world has forgotten about her
she knows she just wants attention

she can disappear off the face of the world right now and nobody will notice anything missing.

her so-called "best friends" wont notice her disappearance.

it's just one of the those things in life when you are no longer of any concern to anybody.

it pains the girl so much that she wanted to just jump off a building. to commit suicide without feeling too much pain.

yes, she's afraid of pain.

but after much deliberation, she came to the conclusion that her suicide wont be noticed till her body starts to rot and the stench starts to get on her neighbours' nerves. nobody would care. there will be no obituaries for her and no news coverage.

so she still wont get any attention.

in fact, she has died a few months ago. and nobody noticed.

aint it sad?

==========

the other day was telling my girlfriend that if for whatever reason i was to die anytime soon, i want the song "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" by Monty Python to be playing on my funeral.

just to reflect the irony of life.

she just laughed it off and told me to be serious.

the sad thing was that i AM being serious...

2009-04-24T15:32:00.001+08:00

HOLY CRAP!!! THAT WAS THE GAY-EST SHIT I'VE EVER READ!!

GOOSEBUMPS!!!

and i'm pissed because i spent more than an hour trying to mount a bloody umd iso video into my psp. putting the damned video in all folders didnt work. turn out i need to create a sub-folder within the iso folder and change the damned VSH menu to Sony NP9960 or something like that.

and when i'm finally done, the video is is japanese which i did not understand at all wasted 2 hours of my life. Gonna go stab somebody soon.

2009-04-24T15:13:00.000+08:00

HOLY @#$%!!!!

it runs on diesel and not petrol!!

haha!!

pure diesel power!!

GOD DAMN IT!!

2009-04-23T22:28:00.003+08:00

Exams are finally over. time to do some reflections i guess. but more about that later.

lately i've been thinking what exactly am i trying to hide from. or actually who is it i'm trying to hide from? from one person, from one group of people? after much thinking, i feel that i'm hiding from almost everyone. a little bit in the emo sense. but in the end it's just that "cheap-thrill" feeling that i get out of it. i did mention elsewhere that with such a diverse group of people and the multitude of characters available, there are bound to be some friction somewhere.

i didnt get the friction. i got a very bad abrasion. lol.

so now i'm in the semi-hiding stage. hopefully nobody finds the other half of me that is hiding.

a few days ago, as a way to relieve my stress, i watched "Enemy at the Gates", if i'm not wrong it was adapted from the novel "War of the Rats". what really hit me the most is at the near end of the movie, the political officer, danilov, told the sniper, vassilli zaitsev, that there is no way for this world to be fair. everybody will always be jealous of something that he/she doesnt have. not even in a soviet world where such lust can be eradicated.

it's just there inside all of us to be jealous of others.

looking at myself, i wonder what kind of miseries am i putting the people i hold dear through. like how my girlfriend put up with my "cheap-ness" at times. while other guys can bring their girlfriends to expensive restaurants, pay $200~$300 for the meal and then bitch about it. i just bitch about it and dont bother going there.

it's a fact i'm not well-off. i dont go clubbing partly because of the expenseive entrance fee. i dont like to go marche because one meal can cost $70. but i do indulge myself very often though. again it's the cheap-thrill factor again.

i'll take a cab once in a while because i just dont feel like squeezing on a bus or train. sometimes the reason i give myself is "because i can".

how sad it is. to take a cab and feel that it's an indulgence. no doubt cab rides are expensive, so i guess it just makes me look all the more even more cheaper.

a few days ago, i saw a kid driving to school in a nissan cefiro with a P-plate. goodness me. the P-plate is just rubbing it in. he was trying to show off his 21st birthday gift to everyone.

i felt like slashing his tyres and scratching his paint. there should be laws against such behaviour.

what's the real reason behind the wearing of school uniform up till the JC stage? to instil the sense that everyone is equal. nobody is gonna come to school dressed in something more trendy and expensive than the peers.

i cant stand it when friends come to me and say, "Oh gosh! look at what i'm wearing! do you know i got it at a sale for only $50!! so cheap!!"

how interesting it is when i have friends who claim to be aware of the financial crisis in one hand, and turn around to coo about going to the next mall opening to go shopping. interesting.

and friends who keep saying how certain items are so expensive. they complain and complain and complain and complain and complain and complain; while paying for it.

if that doesnt work for you, it probably is how you're complaining and complaining and complaining and complaining and complaining and complaining; and get your parents to buy it for you.

there is no way to narrow the rich-poor gap. and in a way, the rich-poor divide MUST exist in a country for it to function properly. the system works in such a way that it makes you believe that the gap is narrowing while the poor are still paying for the rich's lifestyle.

i seek to distance myself from such people, because they really drive me up the wall. but i only realised that they are everywhere. maybe it's the case whereby the moment you take note of something, that something starts showing up everywhere.

so how is it i'm friends with the such "rich" people whom i despise right in the beginning?

i'm afraid i'm a little too fake. my ability to adapt is at fault.

for example, friends that complain that they cant afford the $1,000 plus DSLR, so they just make do with a $600 camera. oh you POOR thing. you shouldnt have to suffer this much. incidentally, $600 is enough to last me for at least 3 months.

friends who complain about such things and at same time when i suggest going to a hawker centre for a meal, gives me a horrified look and go, "but it's sooooo HOOOOOT!!! let's just go to that restaurant!! so much better with their air-conditioning!!"

or friends who like to suggesting meeting at places where the cost of ONE meal is equivalent to FOUR to FIVE of my normal meals. and that cost of one meal has such a small serving that i dont get filled up too.

what a waste of my time and money. because of that, i walked off from some "meetings". i'm not rich, and i dont pretend to be rich. if it's so important to pretend that we are all adults and able to go to such places for a meal, you guys go ahead. the chicken rice from the hawker centre/market is good enough for me.

hmm...

getting kinda angsty here.

and so much more things to talk about. but i have to hide my other half.

now that exams are over, it's another round of me promising myself to study harder for next semester. come to think about it. i did study harder for this semester.

i guess it's just pure bad luck that the modules i took this semester is more difficult.

another round of praying for me.

oh well. enough for tonight. i guess the point is that unconsciously, i'm starting to distance myself from some people.

just looking at the sms-es in my inbox, it's very easy to tell who to avoid. and it's sad that it's almost 99%.

LOL.

that last thought just made me LOL so hard.

2009-02-03T20:56:00.002+08:00

today in a especially good mood.

and this just cracks me up.

also this...

YOU GOT OWNED!!

haha. do not park your car illegally in the campus. park only in designated areas. pity the car owner. haha. everyone walking past stopped to snap a few pictures..

2009-02-01T16:45:00.002+08:00

we were supposed to be studying, but then we ending up talking nonsense. this is probably why we dont really get anything done on time. and how jia long supposedly saved my arse by telling me that both assignments are due tomorrow.

chris then saved my ass again by telling me jia long cock-eyed and see wrongly. the other assignment is only due next week.

and did i mention the horrible accident when i pillion ride on jia long's bike? never mind. he ride bike, we almost bang into car from opposite direction.

=====
[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i only plan to play only

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
lol

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
eh jia long...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
i lub u deep deep...

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
cb lah, go gay with others lah

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for
me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
hahah

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
u lub me???

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
if u dun remind me abt the masteringphysics, i sure gong gong think can wait till nxt week one..

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
u will never sit my bike again

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
hahahahaha

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
nvm..

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
sit nxt to u can liao..

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
lucky like that only

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
hahaha

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
but assignment 3 quite easy.. as compared to assignment 2...

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i now start to do ass 2

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
haha

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
dun wana scare u but 2 is quite diff.. at least for me la...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
duno why peian and edison can breeze thru one...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
if u duno how to do i got a suggestion for u..

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
maybe they a pair hahahahahahah

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
scandal in the making kekekekekekekekekekekkekeekekekekekke

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
u wana noe the suggestion??

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
what suggestion?

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
like if u duno how to do some of the questions frm assignment 2...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
u go pretend to be aini then ask junyi how to do....

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i dun have ahem password and id leh

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
hahaha

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
try mayb copy aini's msn nick lor...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
then change ur display pic..

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
hahahahaha

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
u do it lah

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
or u go create new acct...

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i not so cb lah

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
like aini's addy is _________@hotmail.com, u go create a __________@hotmail.com or smtg like tt.. (sorry cannot display address)

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
hahahahahaha

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
男人不坏女人不爱

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
so u mus b a little cb once in a while...

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
no 女人爱 me leh

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
cos u not cb enough la...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
kns, i jus explain liao..

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i not 坏 meh?

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
not enough...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
apparently.. duh..

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i alrd 坏 meh? not enough?

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
eh boy i dun understand wad u saying..

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
jus go b evil n create a fake acct to scam junyi la...

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
u do it lah

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i dunno how to create email

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
lol

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
go eat shit n die la..

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
hahahahahah

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
can give me ur mastering physics acc?

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
no

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i need to see answers for ass 2

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
wha lao go work it out la..

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
dun lazy....

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i knn last attempt

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
cb sig fig

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
if ur ans is correct dun need to worry abt sig fig...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
they will round for u..

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
not for some

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
is it??

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
yest

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
all my ans they round for me one leh.. as long as it is correct...

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
not for me

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
u using mac right??

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
nobody likes mac la...

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
ya

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
they noe u using mac so dun round for u...

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
who ask u to b extra??

[Jia Long] 我好想EMO一下... ; Super shagged, totally drained; Chingay 2009 was an alarm for me to eat more and gain more muscles. says:
i'm not the only one using mac lor

Jeffrey. 我好想EMO一下. Not only is life a bitch, it is always having puppies. says:
then i hate to say this... but like this means it's u r the prob liao..
=====

2009-01-30T21:43:00.002+08:00

alamak. this chinese new year is quite boring as compared to previous ones.

let's see, first day of the new year, didnt do much. since i slept at around 3am that day, i only woke up later at around 11am. stoned at home, then all my father's friends came over. they came over and started gambling at 3pm. they didnt leave till the next day morning at around 3am plus. goodness gracious me. so therefore i only slept at around that same time too.

second day. i actually woke up at 11am, but decided that i wanna laze around in bed. so did that till around 12.30pm. woke up, washed up and went cycling. then came home showered and changed. went to the girlfriend's aunt's place.

third day. start of school. nothing much. bullshit with my classmates about the "Awww... So sweet" scandal.

forth day. spent my entire ang pao money on two textbooks totalling $103. sigh. Materials Science and Life Science. I better get at least an A- for both that subjects. and sophia sms-ed me at night asking if i'm interested to go wilson's place to play mahjong the next day. i told her, "You give me the money to play, and i'll pon my afternoon lectures."

fifth day. sophia didnt give me any money, so went for lectures. broke my nail while doing lab experiments. and i dont even keep long nails to begin with. had to remove the broken nail fragment with my jack-knife. almost tore my hair out while doing the physics online assignment.

goodness, you just type an extra spacing and your answer is wrong. i tried to give my professor some feedbacks but all those emails just bounced back to me with the message, "Unable to deliver mail to recipients."

screwed-up.

2009-01-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

2009-01-15T16:48:00.002+08:00

freak

Printed the wrong notes for my elective lecture. Therefore blogging away.

Anyway, i dont understand why the lecturer had to use so much pictures and colours in his slides. A bloody 8 pages powerpoint is a bloody 7mb.

Just stood there and waited for the school printer to print the notes at a rate of 1page every 1min.

Hope things will be getting better.

2009-01-12T20:30:00.001+08:00

hahaha. i feel like a bloody noob.

2009-01-12T17:28:00.003+08:00

supposed to be having lecture on digital lifestyle. But due to the boring-ness of the lecture and the bloody phone conversation last night, i have lost the mood to carry on listening to the lecture. Partly another reason is because i have been having lectures and tutorials non-stop from 2.30pm onwards. I've already ran out of my attention-span.

I cant believe she can be so petty and get angry over a stupid joke which SHE started in the first place. I really cant stand how she throws a temper tantrum as and when she likes. Kinda makes me feel that whatever she told me in the past are just pure bullshit. Payment of lip service.

Perhaps i should let her know about the existence of my blog. So she can read through my past entries to get to know what kind of person i really am. It's not that i'm intentionally hiding the fact that i have a blog. Just that she never asked. So there it is.

I'm just pretending to be very understanding and full of patience in front of her. Truth be told, i'm running on a very short fuse all the time. I wonder what makes me want to endure her nonsense all this while.

Perhaps i should just go on and shout and yell into her face. Just to give her a piece of my mind. But then again, that's just not me. I'm pretty sure all my friends have never seen me doing some form of outburst before. No need for me to start breaking a record in that department.

I didnt post the reason we got into this argument in the first place because i feel that it was a really stupid stupid reason to start a fight. And that is also why i was caught off-guard when she just slammed the phone down on me. I thought she was just playing around.

Sigh.

I just need to get all of these off my chest.

2009-01-12T09:39:00.002+08:00

The Click Five
"Just The Girl"

She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing
She pushed me in the pool at our high school reunion
She laughs at my dreams, but I dream about her laughter
Strange as it seems, she's the one I'm after

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

She can't keep a secret for more than an hour
She runs on one hundred proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me the more I adore her
What can I do? I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

The way she sees it's me
On her caller ID
She won't pick up the phone
She'd rather be alone
But I can't give up just yet
Cause every word she's ever said
Is still ringing in my head
Still ringing in my head

after what happened last night, felt the need to post some super emo songs. haha.

but never mind. this song is light-hearted and best describes everything.

crosses finger.

blessed or cursed? you decide.
:-)

2009-01-08T21:31:00.003+08:00

school started. had some bad news yesterday. kinda made me feel like everything i worked so hard for just went to waste. oh well, must try to see the positive side of everything.

modules are ok. took up digital lifestyle as an elective. pretty interesting. maybe i'll try my hands on foreign languages in the next few semester. though the only troublesome UE is the business one.

but perhaps the most horrible module so far is life sciences. i guess in every semester you are destined to have lecturers who mumbles with a very heavy accent. this nice spanish lady just read the words off her slides. silently. i cant hear her. and her accent is making everything worse.

it doesnt help that i have never taken biology before in my entire 21 years of existence. crap.

and i have to endure 2 hours of her lecture each week. half an hour into the lecture and i have already taken out my psp, edison was playing word challenge on his laptop and aini was playing junyi's psp.

sigh.

at least materials science is fun. british lecturer. pokes fun at everything. he used little red and blue balls to demonstrate how atoms and molecules interact and so on and so forth.

he takes them out and said, "Can you see my balls?"

roars of laughter rippled through the lecture theater.

"Alright alright. You may come to see me after the lecture if you still have some questions. you may take a look at my atom model too. but for the love of god, please dont damage my balls."

haha. need i say more?

you know what song i would really love to listen to right now?
"Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis.

need to get a haircut soon.

derrick commented that i've grown a natural helmet over my head.
cant be that bad.
i think.

2009-01-08T21:23:00.001+08:00

2009-01-03T14:10:00.004+08:00

ok so the new year is here.

decided to stop being lazy and post some things up just in case i forget them and need to have some reference in the future. the girlfriend has a tendency to ask things like "Do you remember what we did on our first date?"

stuff like that.

christmas 2008.
two words: interesting and overwhelmed.

celebrated it with the girlfriend's "family". somehow they all knew each other since they were very young and now they're all family friends.

so ok.

cant remember what we did during the day. but by evening went over to her godparents place, which i cant remember where it is too. met some of her friends other than her godsis. i brough a bottle of wine but i felt that wasnt enough when i saw that they actually practice gift exchanging.

they're from New Zealand anyway. so yeah. christmas is a big thing for westerners.

my firsl real authentic christmas dinner. with all the turkey and ham and everything.

i was so overwhelmed that i kinda forgot to take some pictures. and whatever picture that were taken they're still being held hostage by the girlfriend. since they're all in her camera.

went home at 1 plus. in the morning.

if i didnt remember wrongly, we went out again on 26th and 27th. cant remember what we did.

singapore is too small for anything fun. and anything that is fun requires an obscene amount of money.

though i think it was the 27th that i went over to the girlfriend's grandparents' place for dinner. met almost all of her extended family. aunts and uncles and everything. overwhelmed. hands were shaking badly. partly from the weight-lifting exercise in the morning and partly the nervous-ness of meeting her family. i kept dropping food onto the table even when i'm using spoons.

malu.

new year's eve

went down to meet gary to discuss the possibility of me working part time for him to help him handle his overseas customers.

he's hoping i can help him out with those overseas customers so his full-time staff can handle the suppliers.

but after thinking through, i dont think i have the time to do so.
heavy workload.

then went over to the girlfriend's place to wait for her mum to be ready. then we went over to another one of their family friends' place for BBQ dinner. AMK. quite near my place.

met the full gang of her friends. all of them. they're all 24 and 25 years old. and they THOUGHT i'm older than them. because they said the guys they know that's of my age are all busy getting drunk.

well, i dont know about them. but i have only ONE liver. and i intend to use it for a pretty long time. :-)

since it was a condo, there was a playground there. but. i dont know. nowadays playground designs are so weird. i have no idea how to "play" them.

the girlfriend standing on top while we trying to figure out how to "play" the damned thing. not sure if you are even supposed to stand or sit on it. or whatever.

after the BBQ we all went upstairs into the apartment to play monopoly with her godsis and younger godbrother. the rest of her friends had already left.

there wasnt enough space so i stood while the 4 of them sat and play.

sidetrack: the girlfriend's mother, godmother and some friends, relatives referring to themselves as "in-laws" already. my god la.

eg. during the BBQ, when one of her mum's friend asked why i wasnt drinking, i replied that i want to remain sober. then the friend asked again, "Why cannot drink? mother-in-law say you cannot drink ah?"

ahh... whatever la...

let them have their cheap thrill.

so anyway during the monopoly game, one of her mum's friends or her aunt came over and took my hand and placed it on the girfriend's back. her godmother walked past and smacked my hand. "No! Godmother-in-law only allow shoulders! No more lower!"

sigh. framed.

oh well. but their apartment has a great view of the fireworks. only went home at almost 3am.

and somewhere in between went on a double date with julia and her boyfriend. and how can i forget me and julia actually spent valentine's last year. because we were like the only single people around and went to watch barney with her. (all inspirations from her blog, deserves some mentioning.) and maybe somewhere a short discrete mentioning of how i was woken up at 3am in the morning one or two years ago. XD

this year's valentine's we'll all be busy with our own stuff.. :-)

my GPA of 2.63. needs a lot of work this semester onwards. serious work.

2008-12-30T09:50:00.002+08:00

@#$%!!!

well the results are out. and i didnt fail any of my modules, core or elective. thank goodness for that.

but my results sucked big time. my GPA is a pathetic 2.5 when everyone is getting between 3.0 to 4.0. even abu who failed one of his core modules has a higher GPA than me.

sian.

next semester need to chiong. still need to worry about IPPT. this sucks.

2008-12-24T11:02:00.002+08:00

Remember when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown.

BUT

It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that motherf**king noob upside that damn head.

Pass it on.

2008-12-15T09:22:00.001+08:00

fantastic.

hit-and-run.

i was hit and the damned cab-driver ran.

ouch.

landed on my head. slight bleeding from the head. but now i'm having headaches all the time. hope it will pass.

my right knee swelled up to the size of a tennis ball.

my whole left side is sore and aching.

sigh.

2008-12-13T13:04:00.014+08:00

photos of edison's 21st birthday...
think i'm turning into a camwhore or something...

2008-12-09T21:11:00.007+08:00

some photos i took when i went to sungei buloh...

i wonder if there are american egrets...

you must be kidding me... we're being invaded...

2008-11-26T10:20:00.005+08:00

Very tired and quite sian these few days. So called up everybody and we went out for a chill out session... probably one of the few times i'll camwhore.. haha

2008-11-08T17:06:00.003+08:00

"My Way"

special, you think you're special
you do,
i can see it in your eyes
i can see it when you laugh at me
look down on me and,
you walk around on me

just one
more fight
about your leadership
and i
will straight up leave your shit
cause i've had enough of this
and now i'm pissed (yeah)

this time i'm a let it all come out
this time i'm a stand up and shout
i'm a do things my way,
it's my way, my way
or the highway
this time i'm a let it all come out
this time i'm a stand up and shout
i'm a do things my way,
it's my way, my way
or the highway

just one
more fight
about a lotta things
and i will give up everything
to be on my own again,
free again

this time i'm a let it all come out
this time i'm a stand up and shout
i'm a do things my way,
it's my way, my way
or the highway
this time i'm a let it all come out
this time i'm a stand up and shout
i'm a do things my way,
it's my way, my way
or the highway

someday you'll see things my way
cause you never know,
no ya never know
when you're gonna go
someday you'll see things my way
cause you never know,
no ya never know
when you're gonna go

just one
more fight
and i'll be history
yes i will straight up leave your shit
and you'll be the one who's left missing me (yeah)

this time i'm a let it all come out
this time i'm a stand up and shout
i'm a do things my way,
it's my way, my way
or the highway
this time i'm a let it all come out
this time i'm a stand up and shout
i'm a do things my way,
it's my way, my way
or the highway

someday you'll see things my way
cause you never know,
when ya never know
when you're gonna go someday
you'll see things my way
cause you never know,
when ya never know

"She Hates Me"
Met a girl,
thought she was grand
fell in love,
found out first hand
went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued

In a trap,
trip I can't grip
never thought
I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

She was queen for about an hour
after that shit got sour
she took all I ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad,
no

In a trap,
trip I can't grip
never thought
I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

that's my story,
as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it's over and I'm glad
'cause I'm a fool
for all I've said

She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
la la la la la la la la la love
Trust

and she tore my feelings like I had none
she fucking hates me

2008-11-06T16:53:00.005+08:00

We were supposed to be studying...

2008-10-19T10:46:00.000+08:00

reading that entry was almost like a wake-up call for me

2008-10-16T20:42:00.003+08:00

today the girlfriend brought me some lunch which she made herself. Chicken Shepherd Pie. I was so happy that I only remembered to take a picture after chomping through a large portion of it. :-)

有口福了!!

she say she's gonna try beef shepherd pie and new york cheese cake next!!

2008-10-15T23:51:00.000+08:00

ok i'm bored and i know i'm supposed to be studying..

but here goes.

01. What have you been doing recently ?
--->Lots of studying and stoning and worrying at the same time.

02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off ?
--->Once in a while, when I dont want anybody to disturb me.

03. What happened at 10.00am today ?
--->Was having tutorial 2 on Organic Chemistry

04. When did you last cry ?
--->Cant say I really remember

05. What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter ?
--->Bread? or how else do you propose to eat it with?

06. What do you want in your life right now ?
--->Health, Wealth and Happiness. oh and part of Einstein's brain if possible.

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood ?
--->Umbrella. But it has to be raining very heavily because I'm lazy to take it out of my bag.

08. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed ?
--->Other than pillows and blankets, probably nothing else. I dont like cluttered beds.

09. What bottom are you wearing now ?
--->My CJC PE shorts

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say ?
--->Eh, I have over 200 undeleted messages in my inbox. Spare me the pain please.

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated ?
--->Honestly speaking, for F**K? KISS. Keep It Simple, Stupid.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone ?
--->No

13. What was the last movie you caught ?
--->Mamma Mia with Evon

14. What are you proud of ?
--->Not trying to sound too egoistic. But ME.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say ?
--->"Oh there there.. So it's cheaper to get a new one right?" from Evon

16. What was the last song you sang out loud ?
--->Er. I'm not a good singer, so I dont sing out loud.

17. Do you have any nicknames ? What are they ?
--->Yeah. Unfortunately it's "Uncle Jeff". Gets on my nerves at times. Do I really look that old?

18. What does your last received text message say ? Who was it from ?
--->"Oh no am i a bad influence to you.." from Evon

19. What time did you go to bed last night ?
--->Erm, 12am

20. Are you currently happy ?
--->Yeah. Generally speaking.

21. Who gives you best advice ?
--->Hmm. Quite a few.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can ?
--->I dont own any canned whipped cream.

23. Who did you talk on phone last night ?
--->Evon.

24. Is anything bugging you right now ?
--->Trust me, a lot. I whine about them all the time.

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh ?
--->Evon. She wanted to get some dirt off my face,but ended up slapping me. Just laugh it off.

26. Do you wear toe socks ?
--->Hell no! I stop at ankles. Otherwise might as well not wear any.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from ?
--->VJ

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken ?
--->Yeah.

29. What annoys you most in a person ?
--->Dont really know how to describe as yet

30. Do you have a crush on anyone ?
--->As in right now? No.

31. Have you ever done cocaine ?
--->Never did, never will

32. What is the colour of your room ?
--->Off-White. I think

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar ?
--->Oh yeah. Then I'll use half a billion dollars to make sure I can an OJ-Simpson style trial. The one where he walked away free.

34. Do you believe in the saying 'talk is cheap' ?
--->Talk isnt cheap, talk is free, but its definitely effective.(i quoted this because i think it's very true.)

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed ?
--->Erm. Me?

36. Who was the last person to hug you ?
--->Evon

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed ?
--->Hmm. Quite a handful of strangers?

38. Do you have a life ?
--->Yes and No. More of Yes though.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't ?
--->Er. No?

40. What is the reason behind your profile song ?
--->No profile song.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream ?
--->Cant remember

42. Last time you smiled ?
--->Just now.

43. Have you changed this year ?
--->I know I had a life-changing event.

44. What are you listening right now ?
--->Nothing.

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this ?
--->Evon

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed ?
--->Who walks with closed eyes?

47. Is there a quote you live by ?
--->"If you're not cheating, you're not winning" Just dont get caught.

48. Do you want someone you can't have ?
--->I already have someone.

49. Have you ever played an instrument ?
--->Musical? Recorders and Guitars. I wanna be a big rockstar!

50. What was the worst idea you've had in week ?
---> i am full of bad ideas

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm ?
--->Was with Evon. Don't need to know what we're doing. If I wanted you to know, would have invited you along.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now ?
--->Yep

53. What song best describe your love life ?
--->"Do Wah Diddy" by Manfred Mann

54. Does the person know that you like him/her ?
--->Er. Yes?

55. Who always make you laugh ?
--->Many people

56. Do you speak other language other than English ?
---> Yes?

57. Favourite website ?
--->oh let's see. www.ntu.edu.sg, webmail.ntu.edu.sg, edventure.ntu.edu.sg?

58. What your middle name ?
--->Chia

59. What are you doing tomorrow ?
--->Lab in the morning. POE Lect in the afternoon

60. What do you think you are like ?
--->One-of-a-kind?

61. Who will you choose to die with ?
--->Not intending to die yet

62. Where have you been today ?
--->School

63. What game do you play often ?
--->Most of the time is MSN games

64. Who are you missing right now ?
--->Her

65. If you've to choose between friend n loves, who will you choose ?
--->Spare me the trouble please

66. What are you doing right now ?
--->Filling this up

67. Which primary school are you from ?
--->Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School

68. Name 3 colours that you like ?
---> Silver, Black, White

69. What emotion you like to show ?
--->I think I have a pretty blank look on my face most of the time

70. What is your life to you ?
--->Kinda like a mess

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do ?
--->I dont know. Do something about it?

72. Who did you last chat in msn today ?
--->Evon

73. Who so you admire most ?
--->Cant think of anyone in particular right now

74. Which month are you born in ?
--->April

75. How you feel right now ?
--->Tired, and sianjeepuah

76. What is the time now ?

--->11.30pm

77. Where are you now ?
---> Home

78. What colour did you use to dye hair ?
--->I dont dye my hair

79. Why are you doing this test ?
--->I didnt know this is a test! What are you testing me on?

80. What do you do when you're moody ?
--->Go watch some comedies

81. At which age you wish to get married ?
--->I hope before 30

82. Who is more important to you ? Girlfriend or friends ?
--->Eh please la. This is exactly the kind of question that will get me in trouble with both parties. Therefore, no comments.

83. Do you think you have enough confidence ?
--->Yes and no

84. Who is the person you trust the most ?
--->Quite a few actually

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain ?
--->You dont need to believe. It actually happens. Need me to explain how it works? Something to do with Geometric Optics. Or is it Optical Geometry?

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be ?
--->Money and Good Health. Duh.

87. What is your goal for this year ?
--->Do well for my Sem 1 exams

88. Do you believe in eternity love ?
--->How long is eternity? is it as long as you live? or is it longer thanthat?

89. What feeling do you love most ?
--->Happiness

90. Do you really think its Gobal Warming now ?
--->It's Global Warning and Global Cooling now. Always the extreme, never in-between.

91. What feeling you hate the most ?
--->Loneliness

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours ?
--->Of course

93. Do you believe in god ?
--->To some extent. Agnostic, not atheist

94. Who cares for you most ?
--->I wonder

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life ?
--->Dont know yet

96. What will you bring when you fight ?
--->One of those cool proton accelerators, otherwise known as proton-packs used by the Ghostbusters. Oh and a DeLorean too. So I can gun it up to 88mph, go back in time and kick your butt first.

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life ?
--->Quite a whole lot actually

98. What would you feel that on one no longer cares for you ?
--->Sad?

99. What if your Gf two-timed you ?
--->I pray hard that will never happen

100. What do you want now ?
--->I want to go to sleep now and wake up to find that I've not only completed my degree, but my Masters too. And currently holding a six-figure salary.

2008-10-15T17:04:00.002+08:00

donch know, therefore donch care.

i know it's pretty evil of me to adopt such as attitude, but then again. i'm being selfish when i realised i got nothing!!

haha.

so therefore, real real busy. all the tests and exams and tests and exams and tests and exams.

i've forgotten about:
-meeting some people
-calling some people
-sms-ing some people
-certain deadlines
-accidentally created a new deadline for myself
(so busy that my brain just shut down and informed the professor that i'll do the presentation next week. really wanna shoot myself.)

*sigh*

money woes too.

*sigh*

and accidentally started being extra active on facebook too.

2008-10-13T19:11:00.002+08:00

2008-10-11T21:28:00.003+08:00

yesterday was supposed to study. in the end when went to the library with baby, i stoned for 2hrs while she was able to study for 2hrs.

took a picture of a camwhore during yesterday's physics lecture.

while i was at jurong point yesterday saw a couply of kids fighting. haha.
as in they were fighting for real! the poor victim got his head slammed against the glass door and was bleeding badly. after that, the attacker used the plastic chair to smash his head.

my goodness.

they're only secondary schoo kids.

i think someone needs to show them it's very sad that they only their world to be revolved around gangs.

oh well.

dont care.

2008-10-08T20:02:00.003+08:00

i got back my chemistry test today. pleased and pissed at the same time. so i didnt get a "B" as expected. in fact, i got an "A". so the thing that pissed me off is that the math test is so screwed up. i was glad that i wasnt the only who thought this way.

VJ was also complaining that the math tutor will set questions "from all over the world".

bloody screwed up. not that we're not prepared for the test, we werent even being taught on that topic yet.

2008-10-07T21:28:00.003+08:00

this is the second math test i've screwed up. seriously. why the hell is the tutor testing us on topics that haven't been taught yet? differentiation is one thing. we have learnt anything on log functions.

oh my goodness.

at least all my other subjects are either no problem or scoring.
Computing A+
Physics A
Eff Comm B+
Chemistry at least a B too.

so why must math be the odd one out??
this is really gonna hurt my grades.

but come to think about it.

"莫生气"

人生就像一场戏
因为有缘才相聚
相扶到老不容易
是否更该去珍惜
为了小事发脾气
回头想想又何必
别人生气我不气
气出病来无人替
我若气死无人替
况且伤神又费力
邻居亲朋不要比
儿孙琐事由他去
吃苦享乐在一起
神仙羡慕好伴侣

2008-10-05T20:07:00.002+08:00

eh..

lepak.. drink milo.. eat keropok.. watch power rangers..

mathematics test on differential calculus next tuesday.

fuck it.

===

posted those pictures. finally. better late than never.

===

went to baby's house yesterday morning. practically stoned for 4hrs before deciding to go watch "house bunny"

any longer and i think we would have grown some roots to the sofa or something..

2008-10-05T11:50:00.012+08:00

2008-10-01T21:17:00.002+08:00

i've got this sudden urge to blog about something that certain groups of people wont like to see. so therefore, ill just keep quiet about it. but it would b so much fun if i can share with everyone.

last week's recess week went by like a blink of an eye. goodness.

met up with baby almost every other day, going all the way back to school to do projects. and thank god i've finally finished my 15page lab report and my 1000word essay. and edmund just made me realise i've screwed up my lab report very badly because i didnt answer what the question asked. good thing lab sessions only take up 1AU or i'll be pretty screwed.

during one of the meet-ups with baby last week, we went to the botanical gardens after dinner. and the kuku me read the map wrongly and we were almost lost inside.

haha.

this saturday we're thinking of maybe going to snow city or ice-skating.

now i really need to balance my time since i have so much tests coming up.

ok urge gone.

2008-09-25T08:49:00.002+08:00

these few days are pretty bad.

my phone died on me yesterday. so sent it for repairs. it bare;y lasted 2months before it died. so diappointed with the quality. just gave me all the more reason to want to change to another phone next year.

realise i'm running out of cash to continue my studies for the next academic year. if i make it to year 2 that is. so i need to work. but if i work, i wont be able to study for my tests and exams. this is nuts. all the tests are crammed into october and all the exams immediately in november.

i hope my application for bursary award gets through.

2008-09-20T14:31:00.001+08:00

my financial health just took a turn for the worse.

on a lighter note though, i think i'm being stalked (and harassed too).

whoever you are, stop cyberstalking me. :-)

2008-09-19T19:22:00.003+08:00

wow. i was truly pissed off today.

was in the midst of renaming some files in my hp when the screen suddenly displayed "General System Error"

and the next thing i know, i was back at the standby screen.

checked my gallery and to my horror, all my 500plus songs in the hp has been cleared.

i love music so much! how can this happen to me? screwed-up phone.

looks like i'll just have to put up with it for another year before i change it.

so my sights are set on a few phones. Nokia N96 and Samsung Omnia 16GB. If i'm not wrong, it's samsung.

and i'm pissed that all the other phone makers took so long to design their high-capacity phones.

oh well.

and laksa man skipped the first lecture of the day just so he can sleep more. he friggin stays at clementi for crying out loud!

vijay didnt even bother to come to school today. probably the recess week fever.

speaking of which, so many things to do. so many groups to meet up with.

there's assignment 2 for Effective Communication. 300 words

there's AL28 group for the formal lab report. 15 pages

meeting vijay and laksa man for Eff Comm Reflection Paper. 1000 words

A20 group for chemistry. test in the following week.

that's 4 days out of my week gone. and i have to submit my formal lab report the week after the recess. as a matter of fact, i'm having a chemistry test on the same day as my date of submission for my lab report.

and under the instructions for the lab report is one particular line: "Please keep your report under 15 pages. Thank you."

you mean it's possible to write over 15 pages??

i'm not going to have time for any self-entertainment!

and all the tests are crammed into october. and immediately in the beginning of november, the exams are here.

jeez! i'm chrono-phobic now.

and on the topic of tests, had my physics test on wednesday. i mugged till 1 or 2am everyday. and i still have to wake up at 5am later.

and that's the bloody Schrodinger's ONE-DIMENSIONAL TIME-INDEPENDENT equation.
my goodness, this is MADNESS. Imagine having to do and RESOLVE the THREE-DIMENSIONAL TIME-DEPENDENT equation.

i havent even figure what's inside the equation. if i'm not wrong, there's the reduced Planck's constant which is equal to h/2*PI, the second-order derivative of the wave function with respect to displacement with amplitude x. potential energy which will be zero in a time-independent situation. so what is it doing in the equation in the first place? wait a second, where did the "i" come from?

i'm screwed. why did i choose to do engineering?

i'm not really very smart, but then i'm just making up the last part.

and i mugged so hard for my physics test. It was just a bloody TEST and i mugged my ass off. i never studied that hard even for my A levels!

let's not talk about the recess. i cant wait for the SEMESTER break. i hope that will be a real break.

and i almost fell at the bus stop today because i chased after the bus and kinda overshot so e-brake myself.

in the end tripped and almost fell.

what a disgrace, i'm 21 and i'm still having psycho-motor problems.

and i forgot to ask jessica where's her condo. looks like i'll be lost tomorrow.

anyway, here's why guys and girls are different.

2008-09-11T22:48:00.001+08:00

Crapped with Jocelyn and Yuan Wen all the way home from school. At least the long train rides wont be so boring.

Cant believe another week passed by again. Just last week Sherman came to crash my lecture.

Stop calling me your friend ok? That's very irritating. I know what you really want to say is that you want to be my wallet's best friend. Have you no shame?

You already knew I'm not doing well financially and yet you still keep bothering me like this.

I really don't kNOw how to put it across to you. I've already told you a few times that I want out and yet you still stick around like an irritating fly. I have my limits you kNOw. So if it's NOt too much trouble, please just try to leave me alone.

My goodness...

2008-09-09T22:27:00.001+08:00

This is gonna be one of those entries that has a random sequence.

So next friday there'll be a barberue in school. Vijay calls it a cohesion thing while Jessica needs to be reminded that cohesion meant bonding. But of course, Jessica and her weird sense of logic. If I'm not wrong, I think I heard her say something like using a hair-dryer to start a fire and etc etc.

When I found out that Aini has Thai blood in her, I commented that that makes her a little exotic. And that Jessica shouted loudly in the train, "Haiyo, how can you say she's erotic so loudly?!"

Good thing everybody heard what I said.

Anyway, I think there's something not right with that Aini. There's Kelvin and that "someone else". Too many "accidents" involving her. Mental note to myself: Keep a sharp lookout for trouble.

And we have the mooncake festival.

I really hate Physics now.

Even Chemistry is starting to get on track.

I'm still thinking whether I should go for tomorrow's Computing make-up lessons. But if I still can't make up my mind by now, it'll more or less means I'm not attending.

A "jerk" is defined as the rate of change of acceleration. So stop calling me that, you moron.

2008-09-07T20:21:00.002+08:00

"Man always gives up the littlest of comforts for the woman of his life."

Anyway, it's really funny to watch this video and listen to this music. i remember my peers used to like to do this kinda crotch-grabbing dance. good thing i was never interested.

haha.

2008-09-07T12:54:00.003+08:00

It wasn't the brakes that stopped me you dumbass, it was gravity. So stop gloating.

Tired

Reading up on a few things:
1. Wave & Particle Behavior
2. Applications of Quantum Physics
3. Black Body
4. Spectral Radiancy
5. The Stefan-Boltzmann Law
6. Wien's Displacement Law
7. Rayleigh & Jean's Model
8. Planck's model
9. Planck's Two Assumptions

I'm gonna take it slow even though i'm already pretty far behind time.

But it's better to understand what's going on.

Maybe it's just me, but i think foreign students spoil the market for us locals.

Yesterday was still chatting with baby. We're thinking of disappearing for 2 or 3 days during my Dec break. Go for a holiday or something.

That requires time and MONEY. Will worry about that later towards the end of the year.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. For once it didnt rain. But then I guess the focus was on beautiful DAY. it was pouring at night.

Since the DAY was perfect, we decided to go to the rooftop terrace. We haven't been there for a long time.

And we were disturbed.

Another couple needs help in the filming of their wedding or something like that.

So I can't resist it and took a few pictures of the three of them. The couple with my baby, the professional photographer.

Maybe I'll blog more later.

Maybe.

2008-09-04T20:51:00.003+08:00

what a long day.

cant wait for saturday to come.

i'm kinda getting freaked out slowly because i realised all the tests are like coming soon. physics is in two weeks time and i'm not prepared. Laksa Man said he's having computing test next week and so i highly suspect i'm probably having mine next week too. chemistry is like in three weeks time.

goodness, gracious me.

and who says i'm the only one sleeping in lectures? caught jocelyn sleeping during the POE lecture too.

haha

2008-08-31T19:53:00.003+08:00

ok. i want to try to sum up what happened over the past month.

so everything will be in random order.

let's see.

we have the Singapore Fireworks Festival. caught it on a wet friday night with baby. i think that was last friday.

the day before we met for lunch at jurong point. i feel so bad that she has to travel all the way to boon lay all the time to meet up with me.

so yesterday i went to crash her lecture at her school. just to keep her company. and had a crash course in accounting. didnt really understood what the lecturer was saying. but oh well. almost had to have lunch with her friends.

speaking of which, her mother is asking me to join them for dinner or something one of these days.

ok.

haha. my baby freaked out when HER mother wants to meet me. i wonder how's she going to react when my parents want to meet her.

ha

and on one of the wednesdays, we went to east coast park.

we went to the beach.

had dinner at a japanese/korean restaurant.

then we just sat on the breakwater and stoned and, well just kinda stoned there till pretty late. good thing we were able to catch the last bus home. at least she caught the last bus home. by the time we reached her place, i had to get a cab home.

i have no idea how to rotate a picture so screw it. go turn your head 90deg. it was on the newspapers. the photographer is really really good to get this angle. took a picture of that while i was having POE lecture.

school sucks.

i still have not gotten used to all the rushing between north and south spine. why is my lecture theatre all the way at the southern most tip of the south spine and all my tutorial rooms at the northern most tip of the north spine?

and i need to find a way to understand "Black Body Radiation" from quantum physics in TWO WEEKS or i'll be screwed for my test. HA. I haven't even figured out anything from geometric optics. so i AM screwed.

why did i choose engineering in the first place?

crap.

couldnt study today because too many good shows on tv and my bloody tuition kid changed his tuition time to TODAY. and he informed me yesterday. i should just strangle him. what is X*X? his answer is 2X.

one of the thursdays i woke my baby up at 8am. she always sleeps till at least 11am. that pig. (cant let her know i said that :-P)

went straight to cathay cineleisure to watch "Meet Dave". at 10am in the morning. and we had the whole cinema to ourself. :-)

finally got myself a laptop bag.

ahh, yes. i've finally lost my train of thoughts. shall continue some other time.

2008-08-31T14:18:00.001+08:00

"SILENCE! I KILL YOU!"

"I'll need a... a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet"

2008-08-27T16:58:00.001+08:00

Two awesome videos I'd like to share with everyone.

"The Good die young, but the Pricks live FOREVER!"

"Boom DE AH DAH!!!"

2008-08-25T22:28:00.003+08:00

never run in a library.

because:
1. you disturb other people's peace.
2. you make a nuisance out of yourself.
3. you might fall.

you might just trip your left foot with right foot and fall on your face with such a great force, not only do you make a nuisance out of yourself, you provided comic relief for hundreds, if not thousands of students there.

i was in a mad rush to print my notes.

i love the lee wee nam library.

i'm the year 1 engineering student who fell flat on his face in the lee wee nam library.

comic relief.

sad.

and i won $2 easily in a bet today just by not doing anything.

math lecture.
lecturer was teaching limits.

f(x)= (x^3-1)/(x-1)

where x can never be 1.

and vijay asked why.

i told him that the denominator can never be zero.

he didnt believe me. i used my hp's calculator to show him. the result was:
"Unable to divide by 0"

he still didnt believe me.

and so he said, "I bet you $2 it will work on a proper calculator."

so he took alan's scientific calculator and punched in "0/0". the result was:
"math ERROR"

haha

his reply was: "F**K!"

i earned $2 just by doing nothing.

unable to pay attention in lectures these few days.

last thursday's POE lecture was spent sleeping away.

last friday's Computing lecture was spent playing solitaire on my laptop.

today's eff. comm. lecture was spent reading newspaper and doing the sudoku puzzle.

and there is an assignment for today's eff. comm. lecture.
one REFLECTION ESSAY to be submitted in week 11. this is week 4.

i'm gonna take my own sweet time.

2008-08-21T17:19:00.002+08:00

This sucks.

It's unfair to pile all these pressure on me.

I might as well just go quit school and go work full-time.

I hate these.

Now I really really want out. Not that I'm selfish or anything.

I'm really not paid enough to worry about so much stuff.

My output is exponentially higher than my input. It's not even because I can't control myself. People just choose to be blind and deaf at all the convenient times.

So from now on, I'm also going to be blind and deaf at all the convenient times.

2008-08-19T10:24:00.001+08:00

Thanks man. You guys really fucked it up for me.

Falling sick

2008-08-15T18:39:00.002+08:00

Warning: This is a very angry post. If you cant take vulgarities, just fuck the hell off.

today is a very bad day.

fuck

i cant believe it. it's like almost the worst possible thing that can happen to me.

only three bloody weeks. as a matter of fact, not even three full weeks and this shit happens.

and to think i put in so much effort and sacrifices.

i thought good things always happen to good guys?

so i'm not good enough?

what the fuck!

it's really like pure rage.

i am so blinded by rage.

i cant believe it.

fuck.

not even three bloody weeks and this happens.

you have just got to be fucking kidding me.

fuck!

this really turns me off.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

2008-08-13T10:43:00.001+08:00

Great. Just great.

Class has been cancelled last minute. So now i have 2 bloody hours of break and i dont know what to do with it.

Last night after dinner, we went to the airport again. Seems like the only peaceful and quiet place with a nice ambience left in Singapore. We were at the esplanade, but it started drizzling.

Well, things are getting more and more passionate and wilder and wilder. I'd better be careful. The both of us might just get too carried away and i might just accidentally make my baby pregnant. Heh. Then i'm gonna be in a whole lot of trouble.

She was still joking we should just go get a room next saturday.

Effective Communication was interesting. Talked about things like how nobody says anything when i guy holds a girl's hand or when a girl holds another girl's hand. But when a guy holds another guy's hand, everybody starts jumping around.

Found out an interesting fact today. NIE, at 16ha, is just a fraction of the entire university campus.

Explains why i'm getting lost so often.

I've also settled into the habit of wearing just shirt, shorts and sandals to school.

So far the only headache is wondering which ECA should i join. Should i even join one?

2008-08-11T21:58:00.002+08:00

crap.

i sneezed out blood today.

horrible and disgusting.

speaking of blood. the student i'm teaching now for tuition really makes me feel like vomitting blood.

he didnt believe me when i told him 0/3=0.

that bugger friggin pressed the calculator to check!!

what an insult to me!!

and he's retaking E-Math!! i have nothing to say.

2008-08-11T07:28:00.002+08:00

Last night...

Last night was just... magical.. fantastic.. and a little on the wild side..

words cant even begin to describe what happened.

it was a crime of passion, or maybe a passionate crime.

but for what it's worth, it was very passionate.

we laughed ourselves silly over it.

just making me miss my baby even more.

i have a torn lip from last night.

2008-08-09T17:02:00.002+08:00

A tribute to one of the greatest computer games of all times. Man i feel like playing them again. too bad they dont run on Vista. :-(

=====

Yesterday i sat through five numbing hours of lecture which i completely catch no ball. i dont understand why must the school cram 4 subject lectures into one day. my braincells are dying!

I didnt understand a thing about chemistry, which didnt help when it's one of my least favourite subjects.

Laksa Man didnt understand the Computing Lecture.

We both didnt understand the Math and Physics. Complex Numbers and Geometric Optics??

I'm gonna die.

at least managed to meet baby for lunch.

gonna see her again tomorrow.

=)

2008-08-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

Yesterday and today's lectures are very bad. Yesterday went to school just to attend 1hr of physics lecture at 11.30am. Today went to school just attend one 2hrs economics lecture at 4.30pm.

So thanks to my baby who let me wake her up at 7am to go hang out with me. I thought today's gonna be quite relaxed. Who knows we ended up having lunch at Jack's Place.

What a hole to burn in my wallet.

And i was late for my lecture.

Cant wait to meet her again.

2008-08-05T22:02:00.002+08:00

This is so damn cool!

I'm blogging with my mobile phone.

Anyway, school is pretty hectic and my timetable is pretty screwed up. So i'll just have to suck it all ur for the first year, if not the first semester.

Found out that i'm in the same lecture group as Laksa Man. So far, every single day is spent getting lost in school. Hope this will come to an end very soon. Really sick and tired of getting lost.

My Computing Lectures is very obsessed with Chapter 3. I hope we start Chapter 3 real soon, so he can stop talking about it. I'll also need to bring my windbreaker with me to lectures. Goodness, it's freezing.

Saw Gareth in school today. He's doing accounting. I really really like to chat with him. And so he asked me, "are you staying in hostel?"
Me: "No. Why?"
Gareth: "Cheebye! You stay so fucking far and you dont want to live in hostel?"

Like i said, i really really like to chat with him.

Ok, enough. My thumbs are dying from typing this entire entry from my mobile phone. Thank goodness for predictive text input.

2008-07-31T21:32:00.002+08:00

today was fantastic.

even though there was even more walking as compared to yesterday.

met her at her workplace and hang around like an idiot for around 3hrs plus. i guess my ex-boss thinks i'm going back there everyday to chat with him.

when she finally finished work at 2plus, she was complaining about being very hungry, so we went all the way to have lunch at thai express at PS.

so much for being hungry and good thing i had the foresight not to order anything. she couldnt even finish what she ordered and so i was like a vacuum-cleaner, finishing what she left.

kind of spontaneous, we went for cable car ride. also kind of because PS is along the same purple line as harbourfront.

stupid counter staff charged me the admission tickets for sentosa other than the cable car ride.

so since we had the tickets, we went in to walk around.

the weather was so bloody friggin hot.

good thing i was in shirt and berms.

and i found out something: she is super huggable... >.<

then took the cable car all the way from sentosa to mount faber. went down to walk around. nothing much. almost wanted to try the new henderson wave.

but too bad lack of time.

i realise i better not take 57 to bukit merah. i'm gonna end up travelling one big round through harbourfront before reaching bukit merah.

my school timetable sucks.

especially thursday.

i have only TWO lessons.

lesson 1: Lab session. 8.30am to 11.30am

lesson 2: Principle of Economics Lecture. 4.30pm to 6.30pm

wtf

i have a 5hrs break in between.

well, at least i'll be meeting my baby for lunch every thursday. something to look forward to every week.

=====

Students take note:
Knowledge is power...
But power corrupts...
And corruption is a crime...
And crime doesn't pay...
So if you keep on studying,
You'll go broke!

2008-07-30T21:21:00.002+08:00

well, monday had a little hiccup. and thanks to julia and derrick for listening to me whine for a while. i just needed to get it out of my system.

but no thanks to derrick who used that as an excuse to go drinking.

by the last end of the last jug of beer, i felt as though someone punched me in the nose. who knows? maybe derrick actually really punched me and i was just too drunk to remember.

and if derrick didnt mention, i'll most probably not notice that for the both of us, our girlfriends share the same name, just different spelling.

all that drinking gave me a fantastic hangover on tuesday morning.

spent the whole tuesday at home resting and recuperating.

today went to ntu for the freshmen welcoming ceremony. it's a little draggy. so left halfway through to rush down to bukit merah central to have lunch with her.

we couldnt decide what we wanted to do in the afternoon, so we just went to walk around in taka, paragon and wisma.

all the walking was so tiring, but of course i cant let her know.

so maybe tomorrow i'll just suggest we hang around the library.

2008-07-26T21:29:00.003+08:00

well, it's a good thing that my mother is quite approving of us.

though she did give me quite a few words of caution.

=====

today i'm totally shagged.

morning went out with julia. she cycled while i rollerbladed.

due to some pub works going on at bishan park, i almost died from exhaustion going one big round to find another entrnance into the park. i was just plain lazy. i didnt want to remove my blades and walk in.

all those construction workers who saw me must have thought i was nuts.

doesnt matter, i feel spasticated myself.

and julia insisted on wearing a pink hat to cover up her so-called ugly hair-cut.

another "i told you so" case. told her so many times that she didnt need to cut her hair anymore.

see la.

spend $88 some more. do you have any idea how many bowls of wantan mee i can eat with that?

i'm damn cool. i took julia's picture while blading backwards. sometimes i myself is very amazed with my own capabilities.

went home for lunch, then went over to derrick's place. and i realised i forgot to bring something along. borrowed his grandfather's bicycle.

i swear to God i almost died. i found out the hard way that the bike is without brakes.

=====

so...

ms julia tan, as you can see i told a very big lie today about me being busy at home when i'm almost out the whole day.

i feel quite henpecked. i just didnt reply one sms and i received a call. i was driving, how do i reply? but then i cant say that i'm driving because i'm supposed to be busy at home the whole day.

so little children, never tell a lie.

it will get you into a shitload of troubles.

2008-07-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

after the company dinner last night, i was racking my brains on how to get rid of the bloody light bulb.

tagging along with us everywhere we went.

bloody hell.

well, in the end she's the smart one.

we walked aroung bugis junction. it was almost 10pm, and i jokingly suggested watching "the dark knght".

she actually agreed. and i'm the one who needs to work the next day!

everytime those scary scenes start, she'll grab my arm so hard her nails DIG into my flesh.

lan lan suck thumb and bear the pain.

had to send her home first.

so reeached home and slept at 2plus. woke up today at 7 to go to work.

redbull-ed my way through work.

next monday's my last day of work.

then school will start.

cant wait for school to start.

i'm gonna be a student again!

2008-07-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

sunday was the night. the big planned got stalled by two days, but somehow i'm glad things happened the way it did. this was actually was friday night. concert at cjc. this is the first pic i took with my brand new N81 8GB. shaky hands i know. that is edmund chen and xiang yun.

after the concert, we took a bus to far east. walked to mrt station. took a train to clarke quay. and finally walked to the mac at novotel building for supper.

what a big round.

=====

we walked around, catched a movie.

walked around some more.

then went to have dinner at fish n co.

and that's funny.

we both ordered fish n chips

and when the order came, i told her: "careful, it's hot."
she said: "i know"
and she took a bite.

and her face turned red, and she started choking.. and i couldnt resist not taking a photo of such a hilarious scene!
i must admit, she has very quick reactions despite the fact she was all red and choking.

somehow, "i told you so" just dont cut it.

watched MagicBox at esplanade. my first show there.

and she baked some muffins/cupcakes for me too.. julia and i were discussing if they should be called muffins or cupcakes.